One Year On

'Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity'- Hippocrates

As a historian, I always enjoy a good anniversary. It seems pretty morbid and twisted to celebrate destructive conflicts, for example, but it is integral to remember the pivotal moments in history as a reference to how much has changed over the years. The passing of the First World War's centenary brought about beautiful images of remembrance across the globe, even though controversy surrounds the potential political hijacking of the remembrance poppy. Events like these deserve the greatest amount of commemoration, much like a wedding anniversary does on a more personal level. For me, a very important anniversary just occurred, yet required no great act of remembrance or a themed present.

It has now been over a year since I was falsely accused of being a menace to society by 'exploring my body openly' in a public place and then making inappropriate advances towards a younger female member of society. That's a very formal way of explaining what I was arrested for, but you should all get the message. 16 November saw an evening of video games and a warm meal turn to paddy wagons, disgruntled detectives and the collapse of my professional career. I've had bad days before but this certainly took the cake; being told off in school for failing to do an essay is nothing compared to this.

A very thankful chap

I took a walk with my Dad/boss last week (hooray for nepotism!) and the topic of this anniversary came up. This well-rounded man, in both the physical and mental state, told me that events like these stay with you forever, yet shouldn't be a hindrance to living your life. The man is right, as nothing should ever stop you from growing as a person and achieving your goals. For a considerable amount of time after the ordeal began, I was scared of what the outside world would throw my way next. When you're completely unaware of who had accused you of such a deplorable act, and still don't as a matter of fact, you never know who presents themselves as a threat.

So accurate

The fact that this anniversary was last week meant that it would have been more appropriate to write about this last week, but the ongoing global warming crisis is far more important than my troubling experience. Aren't I noble? As I now begin the lengthy process of deflating my ego, now would be the perfect time to reflect on what has transpired between 16 November 2017 and 16 November 2018. Certainly wasn't as eventful; tucking into pasta packed with veggies and Quorn mince while watching Wales vs Denmark in the UEFA Nations League isn't quite on the same level of a late night interrogation in a cold room at Guildford Police Station. Think I made the right choice in writing about California's wildfires.

What a hit son

So, what exactly has transpired over this lengthy emotional roller coaster? The list isn't particularly glamorous or exciting, but considering the burden that was hoisted on my shoulders by 'Surrey's Finest' it's amazing I managed to achieve anything at all. OK, 'achieve' is a strong word to use here but I think I'm allowed a small victory in regards to what I went through. You wouldn't deny me that, would you?

I'm being super cereal

THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD OF FREE TIME

First of all, there's a lot of free time. When you've been working constantly since leaving university, you forget how lovely it was to have so much independence when it was interlaced with lectures and assignments. Sadly, this freshly-given free time does have its limitations. The thought of staying at home sounds rather enjoyable, but when you are being kept there due to suspension it loses its charm. It gets quite lonely as friends and family are busy with work, so finding new ways to occupy yourself soon becomes a chore in itself. Moreover, while it is satisfying to see money enter your account after a month of never even stepping into work, there's a crippling feeling of guilt for earning a salary for doing absolutely nothing. Now I know what it feels like to be a reality TV star.

I may be missing the point here, as the clue is in the name. Free time means no work, all play; indeed, you're being paid to actually stay away from work! With all this free time on my hands, I was able to craft a basic routine that consisted of exercising, walks through whatever weather was thrown at me and developing skills. Of course, there was plenty of time to play a few video games and watch TV; I even had time to binge through the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This entertainment overload was paired with Absolute Shambles, as reviews were pumped out with great efficiency. From heaping praise onto Assassin's Creed: Odyssey to revelling in the unbelievable tale of Jeremy Thorpe in A Very English Scandal, there has been a level of productivity mixed in with personal enjoyment. Always nice to have Hugh Grant along for the ride.

You sexy bastard 

A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS 

As I mentioned above, sitting on my arse was actually cleverly disguised as improving on my writing abilities. Being able to have a long writing session over the week meant effective planning could take place before the furious tapping of keys could begin. Once words were spewed across the screen, the frustrating and antagonising process of editing could begin, which would always include phrases along the lines of 'this is awful, how the hell did I ever pass GCSE English?' The imposed exile from working life inflamed my love of writing, and penning my thoughts on the legalisation of marijuana or dealing with mental health is the end result of this skill development.

Away from the laptop and my double life as an amateur journalist, numerous other skills have been able to flourish. Sweaty early mornings of exercise has allowed me to push my body to its very limits in pursuit of maintaining a decent level of fitness. Staying active has allowed my mental state to remain in a balanced state, especially as my body knows that the 1,000,000 burpees before sunrise will be rewarded with nutritious meals made with love and care. The kitchen is a great ally when being healthy, and the enforced sentence at home meant that our partnership grew in strength. Curries were prepared, smoothies were crafted and the air was full of the smell of baked goods. It is the pastime of champions, after all.

First ever cheesecake; exemplary

 ADVENTURING

Fear not, for even though the early stages of banishment were marred by a mistrust of the outside world, Ben did manage to get out of the house. Mornings were full of walks around the boring yet slightly charming area of Farnham, fulfilling errands set by various family members or making sure the fridge and cupboards were stocked with plenty of sustenance. I wouldn't be surprised if the residents of this Surrey town knew my routine better than I did- quite an alarming thought actually, especially since I was subject to a police investigation in which the accusers were unknown to me. Yet Farnham would not be able to contain me, and my gaze had to turn further afield to break the cycle of repetitive strolls. The call of adventure was a strong one.

A few instances stand out for me. One day was spent jaunting across London with my best friend, ending the evening with alcohol and a spot of curling with some of my closest friends. It was a dream come true, and when I was told that one of my birthday presents was a round of curling my eyes were full of tears of joy. Better still, this was the day when I found out that the police had finally realised that I was innocent and was no longer an enemy of society. Seemed fitting to then take a bus to Paris, a city of culture, history and piss, the day after such a monumental day. Even though I was surrounded by the French, it was a wonderful feeling to know that I could enjoy Paris without the ordeal playing on my mind. Add in some other social engagements, including a jaunt down to Cornwall, and we have ourselves a plethora of adventures.

Just some well-cultured chaps

LONDON 2 BRIGHTON 

Of all the things achieved over this stressful period, completing the London 2 Brighton Challenge is by far the most impressive. When originally signing up for this 100 km stroll from capital to coast, I knew what I would have to go through; sweaty training, mental strengthening and the crippling disappointment of missing the Champion's League Final. Amazingly enough, the ordeal worked to my advantage as there was ample time for strenuous walks and crippling workouts. My boots, although squeaky and covered in dirt, were well-worn and the prospect of ascending steep inclines in the middle of the night was of little concern to me. Come rain or shine, I was certain that I could make it from Richmond Park to Brighton Race Course.

Completing the whole thing in 18 hours, 19 minutes and 20 seconds is not just a joy to all those that have a small bout of O.C.D., but is surely a notable achievement. The egg butty consumed at around 2:30 in the morning tasted like victory, and the stretching session the day after will remain the most fulfilling. The training had been efficient, not to mention being stalked by a support team willing to follow me around no matter how inconvenient a rest stop was. Indeed, I was fuelled by my general love of walking. I have told people willing to listen to my epic tale of how I revelled in being to walk through the countryside in glorious sunshine without a care in the world. I wanted to finish in excellent time (and I damn well did!), but there was time to take in the world around me and know that I was free.

Free to walk fast and look suave doing it- and all for charity as well!

A NEW BEN, MENTALLY SCARRED BUT THANKFUL FOR WHAT HE HAS 

Support from 'Team Goscomb' during the London 2 Brighton Challenge perfectly summarised the strength they gave me over this series of unfortunate events. There was never a moment when they thought I was a criminal, never waning from their view that this was all just a case of total bullshit. My father dragged himself away from work to save me from the clutches of Surrey Police, ready to return me to my mother and a tearful embrace. As we spent the day in our PJs watching Disney films, I was given the confidence that things might turn out OK in the end. With my brother and closest comrades on hand to keep me moderately sane, I managed to drag myself through to a rightful conclusion. If only 18 year-old Ben knew what he was in for...

Dude, you have no idea...

When your life disintegrates all around you, brought about by actions completely out of your control, mentality is sure to change. My anxiety was heightened to dramatic levels and actually had a strong hand in ending my days of drinking. Once that sweet nectar hit my system, my fears of being held in captivity and having to once again restart my life ruined any notion of having fun. Even though I have proven you can enjoy a raucous night out fuelled on soft drinks and dancing fever, the fact that a cold beer now causes mental anguish is pretty depressing. Then again, if I had let my teetotal morals slip, I wouldn't have been able to look as dapper as I did throughout that Halloween night.

Don't wanna mess with these fellas

A year has passed. A new routine has been established to fit around my new role at a startup tech company, but it is no burden on me. Returning to the working world has flushed out any last remnants that life may never return to normal. To come home after a long day of work, slip into trackies and grind through Red Dead Redemption 2 is a worthy reward for all that has occurred. The kitchen is the centre of the glorious smells of home-baked goods, ready to be devoured by hungry coworkers and overjoyed family members. Time is still devoted to keeping this blog going, and it has been through this medium that I have managed to let my creativity flow. Plenty more projects are potentially in the works, and only future generations know how they will play out. All I know is that I'm free to make my own way in life, with the scar of the ordeal not a mark of shame but a reminder that I've been through hell and come out smiling.

Horrible ordeal, completed it mate 

Ben G 😁 xo