Absolute Shambles

'So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye'- 'So Long, Farewell' from The Sound of Music , 1965 Post Number 100. The bunting has been hoisted out of the cupboard and is now strung up in all its glory. Caterers are hurriedly preparing a lavish spread for the exclusive event that surrounds such a historic moment, which will be attended by the biggest celebrities on the planet. People such as Barack Obama, Sir Patrick Stewart and LeBron James are waiting for the gold envelope to slide through the letterbox and invite them to the prestigious gathering. Celine Dion is warming up her vocal cords to sing a duet with Ed Sheeran, who will perform a special song written by Pharrell Williams. Dwayne Johnson and Channing Tatum will be running security for the night, hoping to keep out any party crashers who want to catch a glimpse of this humble blogger and his famous entourage. Seriously, this makes the Oscars look like a primary school disco. Master of Ceremonies Sadly, ...

'The first draft is just you telling the story'- Terry Pratchett When you have spent a large portion of your life reading, writing and researching, one might term you to be some sort of 'academic'. This humble blogger does have an extensive collection of books and can easily find access to a pipe or smoking jacket, but would certainly not class himself amongst these titans of literature. Yet the pull of being accepted into this cult (surely there are rituals and secret handshakes being conducted in their secret meeting places?) is a strong one. The thought of diverting time and effort into creating a piece of work that someone might actually find useful as either a scholarly work or handy doorstop is intriguing. Writing a dissertation was difficult enough, especially when translating German and Russian documents, but it was good conditioning if you wanted to pursue even higher levels of education. Besides, history is awesome , so it was all totally worth it. This i...

'Here's something to think about: how come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?- Jay Leno The human race sure do love to gamble. Plucky punters hoping a football accumulator will come through, lovestruck teens asking their crush out on a date, ambitious generals planning to invade Russia in the winter; gambling is essentially a major part of our lives. It's highly addictive, no doubt about, as people love the thrill of the risks and the potentially huge rewards that gambling can bring. Our minds drift off with thoughts of what we would do with all that cash now weighing down our bank accounts, imaging new glamorous lifestyles among the rich and famous. Some made their millions through clever investments and ingenious inventions- this guy is more likely to get rich by guessing that Plymouth Argyle, Aldershot Town and other teams would win a football match. Might need a bigger piggy bank In the Business Operations department, there is an aura o...

'You know, anyone who wears glasses, in one sense or another, is a cyborg'- Evgeny Morozov When you are prescribed glasses, it can mean a variety of things. In one instance, you could have been handed a raw deal in that your eyes betrayed from a very young age and caused you to bump into so many different things. Peers mocked you with taunts such as 'four eyes' and berate your below average eyesight, with the added danger of your necessary accessory being damaged through youthful hijinks. The fear of breaking a pair of glasses and having to sit through a lecture from your parents about responsibility would only make the whole situation more stressful. So, youth of the world, don't pick on the kid with glasses because they have enough shit to deal with. I can pull this off, right? Of course, that awful beast known as 'ageing' is one that stalks us all. Our bodies, once blessed with the ability to do incredible feats such as climb over walls and dance t...

'Every age has its storytelling form, and video gaming is a huge part of our culture. You can ignore or embrace video games and imbue them with the best artistic quality. People are enthralled with video games in the same way as other people love the cinema or theatre'- Andy Serkis The crushing realisation that the future of the United Kingdom hangs in the balance with this crucial Brexit vote (the result of which will be known once this is published on 20 January) means that we have to find a way to escape these vital but frustrating political shenanigans. There are many ways to do this, such as curling up in a ball and convincing yourself that everything is fine and dandy. Shutting off all news feeds and shunning the people on social media dedicated to announcing their political agenda are all viable options as well. But, in the opinion of this humble blogger, picking up a damn good video game is the most sensible option. Art Since October, the daily schedule has had ...