Absolute Shambles

'So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye'- 'So Long, Farewell' from The Sound of Music , 1965 Post Number 100. The bunting has been hoisted out of the cupboard and is now strung up in all its glory. Caterers are hurriedly preparing a lavish spread for the exclusive event that surrounds such a historic moment, which will be attended by the biggest celebrities on the planet. People such as Barack Obama, Sir Patrick Stewart and LeBron James are waiting for the gold envelope to slide through the letterbox and invite them to the prestigious gathering. Celine Dion is warming up her vocal cords to sing a duet with Ed Sheeran, who will perform a special song written by Pharrell Williams. Dwayne Johnson and Channing Tatum will be running security for the night, hoping to keep out any party crashers who want to catch a glimpse of this humble blogger and his famous entourage. Seriously, this makes the Oscars look like a primary school disco. Master of Ceremonies Sadly, ...

'Brexit means Brexit'- Theresa May, 11 July 2016 Rejoice, one and all! 29 March has passed and the UK has left the European Union. Britain has secured independence from the vicious tyrants that sit in their ivory tower in Brussels, who now weep at our departure. Theresa May is greeted with thunderous applause at having seen Brexit through to completion, with talks of being awarded a Damehood for her services to the country. All who doubted her now beg for forgiveness, with Chairman Jeremy Corbyn banging his head against the table after seeing his dreams of becoming Prime Minister dashed in an instant. The country has come together in unity as all look to the bright future of the United Kingdom, now free of the grip of Europe. Sweet delicious freedom Aaannnndddd back to reality. Britain is still in the European Union, unable to agree upon a deal that should have seen the nation leave the EU and begin a new life. May, having survived numerous challenges to her leadership, ...

'A government that cannot get its business through the House of Commons is no government at all'- Jeremy Corbyn, speaking in Wakefield, 10 January 2019 The whirlwind start to 2019 continues. Everyone had just caught their breath after  the steep rise in train fares , but suddenly the Houses of Parliament stirs into life. The general public would have every right to direct some anger towards the government by deciding to engage in some political shenanigans just as everyone is getting back to work, but this should cause relief rather than anguish. Apparently, believe it or not, there's going to be a vote- a big vote. The biggest vote of the year if a sudden general election can be avoided. Next week shall see MPs vote on Theresa May's Brexit deal. It's happening. Let's wrap up this Brexit debate, shall we? Tuesday 15 January will be the day that British MPs come together and determine whether or not the Prime Minister's Brexit deal is actually worth it...

'My responsibility is to tell the truth'- Christine Blasey Ford to the Senate Judiciary Committee, 27 September 2018 So here we are. 2018 is about to end, ready to bow out and let 2019 take the spotlight. In true 2018 style, it bends as low as it can go and proceeds to fall flat on its face. As it drags itself up to its feet to regain some composure, it shrugs it off and pretends that nobody saw that. Everyone saw it; it was painfully awkward and nobody wants to make eye contact with the year that is about to be added to the annals of human history. 2019 puts a hand on its compatriots shoulder and quietly tells the parting year to leave now. Some people have also experienced awkward moments on stage this year OK, that's quite an unfair way to say goodbye to 2018. It hasn't been a travesty of a year , none of us can deny that. Yes, Brexit has turned the United Kingdom into a laughing stock , Donald Trump is blundering his way through his tenure as President of th...