Zelensky's Victory: Just Another Day in Politics

'One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don't go into government'- Donald Trump (can you smell the irony?)

There's been a landslide victory in the recent elections in Ukraine. Petro Poroshenko has served as President of Ukraine since 2014, after previously serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs, Minister of Trade and Economic Development and even as head of the Council of Ukraine's National Bank. His connections to big businesses due to his status as a prominent oligarch in Ukraine (Petro owns confectionery brand Roshen and TV channel 5 kanal) has given Petro a strong ring of contacts that only strengthened his power. Although Poroshenko rose to the head of government in the aftermath of a revolution in 2014 that toppled the pro-Russian government, his credentials were still decent. He lost to a comedian who plays the Ukrainian president on a TV show.

All smiles (AFP)

With around 73% of the popular vote, Volodymyr Zelensky has brushed Poroshenko aside and now stands in line to be the sixth President of Ukraine. He won the admiration of the Ukrainian people for playing the character Vasyl Petrovych Holoborodko on the show Servant of the People, who went from history teacher to President after a viral video of him ranting about government corruption swayed the people to his side. See, history is great! Zelensky is leader of the Servant of the People party, using the same party logo in the show of the same name, and managed to run a campaign that expertly avoided interaction with the mainstream media. Instead, much like his character in Servant of the People, the Internet served as his platform as Zelensky spoke his mind though You Tube. Just like how Twitter serves as the mouthpiece for the President of the USA, Volodymyr took to the largest video streaming service on the planet to present his plans for Ukraine. At least he didn't spend his time uploading Fortnite montages...

No jokes here (AFP)

Zelensky ran on promises that seem extremely sensible, such as:

• Bringing the ongoing crisis in the Crimea to a definitive close
• Integrating Ukraine with the international community by applying for EU and NATO membership (which would be ratified through a referendum)
• Removing special powers of the President and other high-ranking officials in the government
• Free medicinal cannabis (here here!), free abortion and the legalisation of prostitution and gambling

OK, that last bullet point might cause a few debates but Zelensky is also determined to keep gun ownership under control... wait, that's even more controversial. Regardless, it seems rather odd that a man with no political experience, who avoided major debates and interviews, won the election in Ukraine on the simple platform that he was different and wanted to change how the system worked. Concerns remain about Zelensky's links with oligarch Ihor Kolomoyskyi, as well as whether the future leader of the country can curtail oligarch power and stand up to Russian/ US President Vladimir Putin, but voters were not fazed by this. The promise of cleaning up the political game resonated well with the electorate, tired themselves of the shortcomings of the current Ukrainian government, and saw Volodymyr as their champion. A charming persona, relaxed demeanour and the fact that he wasn't one of them (i.e. a politician) made his victory a certainty. 

Hands up if you're the President (UKRINFORM)

So many congratulations to the new President of Ukraine! May you continue to raise a middle finger to the powerful puppet masters of your nation and bring Ukraine into the European fold, just as the UK dithers with our own dignified exit from the European Union. We can celebrate this recent earthquake in global politics as a clear sign that the people are taking back control, but please bear in mind that the story of Volodymyr Zelensky is nothing new. Seriously, there is already an extensive list of celebrities who ditched their previous lives as entertainers, athletes or businessmen to hop on the campaign bus and ride their way to the top of the government. We will talk about HIM soon enough, but for now let us go on a whimsical journey through some other celebrities like Zelensky who managed to win the hearts of their fellow countrymen, and why the recent election in Ukraine is just another bizarre yet expected chapter in the story of politics.

He is a wise man

First, comedians are no strangers to the political scene. At this very moment in time, Jimmy Morales is President of Guatemala, having been in the position since January 2016 after running with the simple slogan of 'Not corrupt, not a thief'. Alongside his brother Sammy, he starred in the sketch show Morals and has also played roles such as Black Pitaya (in blackface- pretty risky) and a cowboy who became President. There's a theme going on here, clearly, but at least Jimmy tried to gain some political experience beforehand by running in a mayoral election in 2011; he lost. Yet Jimmy rallied and got the people on his side, becoming one of Central America's more unconventional rulers in a category already containing William Walker. A 'filibuster' (someone who conducts unauthorised military actions to support/ cause a revolution), he took over Nicaragua and ruled as President from 1856-1857. Walker was eventually defeated by a coalition of Central American armies, and was executed in Honduras in 1860 for supporting another revolution. Unrelated, but a damn good story. 

Damn, that was a cool story Ben! (AP)

Over in Iceland, Jón Gnarr transitioned into politics in 2009 after a career on both radio and TV as one half of the comedy duo Tvíhöfði. Gnarr formed the 'Best Party' and vowed to deliver the necessities to the people of Iceland, including stopping corruption 'by openly participating in it' and free access to swimming pools in conjunction with free towels for everyone. In 2010, in preparation for the Icelandic mayoral elections, the party were determined to give the Icelandic nation a polar bear in their zoo and a Disneyland. Surprise surprise, Gnarr won the election and held the office for 4 years. Towels were delivered to all and, on a more serious note, approved the first mosque in the city. When your mayor also leads the gay pride march dressed as a drag queen, you know you've done well.

Love it, totally on board (Helgi Haldorsson)

Italy and their Five Star Movement should also be mentioned as they are now the largest party in the Italian Parliament after the 2018 elections. Beppe Grillo founded the party in 2009 after his TV career has stalled dramatically as his comedic act turned its sights on Italian politics. Effectively banished from public television, Grillo took up blogging and teamed up with Internet strategist Gianroberto Casaleggio in 2005 to communicate with other who felt little love for the Italian media. M5S made gains in the 2013 general election, finished second in the 2014 European elections and their impressive performance in 2018 meant that not only were they the biggest party in the Italian Parliament, but their leader Luigi Di Maio also became deputy PM. A coalition was struck between M5S and Lega Nord, as their leader Matteo Salvini also became deputy PM to serve under Giuseppe Conte. The M5S tone of being anti-establishment struck a chord with the Italian populace, presenting us with yet another example of a person with no political experience shaking up the scene.

This is my politics face (Getty Images)

It appears that the comedians are having all the fun, but we are just getting started. Pakistan elected cricketing legend Imran Khan their Prime Minister in August 2018, leading the PTI party (formed in 1996 by Khan himself) and doing his best to ensure that Pakistan becomes a welfare state and ends religious discrimination in his country. As with other parties mentioned, the PTI want to end political corruption and, much like the incoming Ukrainian President, end any sort of territorial dispute around its borders. Liberia also has one of its sporting icons heading its government, as George Weah (the only African footballer to ever win the Ballon d'Or) has been in charge since 2018. In his first address to the assembled Liberian government, he reduced his own salary by 25% as 'we should all make sacrifices in the interest of our country'. For a man criticised for a lack of education, George seems sharper than most; after all, the educated 'have governed [Liberia] for hundreds of years... they have never done anything'. Schooled.

Legend (Getty Images)

Hell, even Idi Amin was Uganda's light heavyweight boxing champion on his way to becoming dictator through a military coup in January 1971! But enough of the sporting elite- let's talk media men. These tycoons rule the industry that shoves various forms of 'entertainment' down our throats, and what better example of one of these titans is Silvio Berlusconi. In 1973, he set up TeleMilano, which later evolved into Canale 5, as Italy's first private TV channel. Once Fininvest (his first media group) came about in 1978, Silvio wanted more, which didn't include owning A.C. Milan or building 4000 residential apartments in Milan. Berlusconi served as Italy's PM on three separate occasions, the first coming in 1994, and can only be described as a very sleazy politician. The scandals and controversies are numerous to say the least:

• Extensive media control, as Mediaset owns 3 out of 7 national TV channels, leading to fears of censorship and strict media control
• Links with the mafia, which several turncoats have gone on record to confirm this
• A lack of a filter, meaning that some rather insensitive remarks have come from his mouth (a personal favourite is calling Benito Mussolini a 'benign dictator who did not murder opponents but sent them 'on holiday'')
• The 'bunga-bunga' parties, which included an underage Moroccan belly dancer and has been dubbed 'Rubygate'
• Tax fraud

We could be here all day, to be honest. Silvio has appeared in court so many times that the caterers ask him for 'the usual' and he has his own car parking space. After launching a new party, Forza Italia, in 2013, there is life in the old dog yet; just ask Ruby.

I have here in my hand another summons to court (Getty Images)

There is one nation that stands as the shining example of the inexperienced making a name for themselves in the realm of politics, and that's the USA. The 'land of the free' pride themselves on being a champion of democracy, having chucked out their rightful British masters and slain the evils of fascism and communism. Again, comedians see themselves as the next big political star, as we can see through Al Franken. He made a name for himself as a writer on Saturday Night Live, and his novel 'Why Not Me?' detailed a hypothetical campaign for the Presidency in 2000 that sees Otto Franken win and inevitably resign as anti-depressants cause him to clone himself and, for good measure, punch Nelson Mandela. In 2008, Franken was elected as a Democrat Senator for Minnesota and won again in 2014, yet ended up resigning in 2018 after sexual misconduct allegations dogged his tenure. Al Franken was just one of the numerous politicians caught up in the scandals that rocked the US Government, but still managed to have a dig at the guy in the White House for his own comments as he bowed out from office. Don't worry Al, we'll get him soon.

You were supposed to be one of the good guys, Al (Getty Images)

And what about Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Ronald Reagan? Both were governors of California after being prominent names in Hollywood. Arnie started out as a bodybuilder, winning Mr Universe at the age of 20 and moving into an acting career that includes incredible titles such as The Terminator franchise, Predator and, of course, Kindergarten Cop. These two Republicans did cross paths in 1985 as Arnie starred in 'Stop the Madness', an anti-drug music video funded by the Reagan administration, alongside other stars such as Whitney Houston, David Hasselhoff and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. During the 1990s, our favourite killing machine from the future served on the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports, and this surely gave him the drive for power. When Schwarzenegger was elected in 2003, he won by around 1.3 million votes, and repeated the feat again 2006 by winning with a margin of over 1 million votes. The man famed for being Conan the Barbarian and Mr Freeze would end his time in power in 2011 with a record approval rating low of 23%, after experiencing highs of 65% in the early stages of his political career. Oh, and there were more claims of sexual misconduct- could be worse though; your marriage could collapse after revelations that you were fathering a son you had with an employee for over 14 years. Wait...

Governor of the State of Gains (Getty Images)

Reagan was elected as California's governor in 1967, running for the White House in 1976 (he lost the Republican nomination to Gerald Ford) and eventually being elected in 1980 on a platform of lowering taxes, restricting government interference and boosting national defence. Once a man who starred alongside a monkey (Bedtime for Bonzo, what a film), now Ronnie was the leader of a nation still embroiled in the Cold War with an economy that was stagnating. Being shot by John Hinckley Jr. in 1981 couldn't stop Reagan launching 'Reaganomics' to combat inflation and unemployment rates, as well as branding the USSR an 'evil empire' that would be defeated with the Strategic Defence Initiative (otherwise known as the 'Star Wars' project) on the way to Mr Gorbachev tearing down the Berlin Wall. Throw in a war on drugs, the scandal that was the Iran-Contra affair (basically, sell weapons to Iran, fund the Contra rebels in Nicaragua) and the fact that the man was 69 when he took office in 1981, you have yourself a President that helped the United States emerge as a dominant power by the end of the 20th century, but sadly he probably wouldn't remember that he did it. This humble blogger still loves you, Mr Reagan.

This one's for you, Bonzo (Ronald Reagan Presidential Library)

Right, are we done? No? Fine, let's talk about Donnie T. A "small loan of a million dollars" launched Trump's career, he took his family's real estate company and turned into an empire, while also owning some of those beauty pageants that Texas mothers are so keen on and producing the American version of The Apprentice. He soon got bored and thought it would be a jolly good idea to become a politician and "Make America Great Again". Donald Trump- President?! Madness. Ludicrous. Unprecedented. Against Hillary Clinton, former First Lady to Bill, Senator of New York and Secretary of State under Obama- stop, please, it hurts to laugh. Oh, he won. Bollocks. We commented on the scandals of Berlusconi, but these are certainly a bit more serious with all that talk of Russian collusion and holding the country hostage as he shut down the government in a fit of rage as nobody wanted to build his wall. Ronald, we might need you to tear down another wall... if it ever gets built.

When you're trying to make America great again but everyone is trying to impeach you (Getty Images)

Cor blimey, that's a lot of politicians- and that's precisely the point of this post. What has happened in Ukraine is nothing new, and essentially is another moment of an 'outsider' representing the 'greater needs' of the people and providing a breath of fresh air in a system that smells of failure and corruption. A long time ago, we talked of how language could influence the minds of the disillusioned and persuade/ manipulate them into doing something rather stupid. Not all the people mentioned are bad people (we all need free towels, after all), but the fact that they promised to fix the system was enough for the electorate. Celebrities and other influential figures are no strangers to speaking their minds on the events that make the headlines, and we can all admit that the idea of President Oprah Winfrey and Vice-President Tom Hanks sounded totally awesome. But if more celebrities move towards a political career, does it show the strength of democracy that anybody can thrive in it or its weakness that ANYBODY can thrive in it? That's up to you.

Obama out

Ben G 😁 xo