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A letter to my 18-year-old self

Dear 18-year-old Ben,

Hi, it's Ben... from the future. You may be wondering to yourself how you came across this letter. Is it time travel? Is it a practical joke from any one of the numerous people who get a boner out of making fun of you? I guess it's a bit of both, since technically this is from the future, and you are the person who takes the piss out of you the most. Before we get bogged down in whether I am breaking the space-time continuum, we should get to the point at hand. This is a letter from your future self at the tender age of 23, writing to you for one simple reason; to get you excited for the future.

Now, the future is scary, let's not beat around the bush here. You're thinking to yourself, 'I don't know what I should do with my life. Am I destined for incredible failure?' There is no need to fret, because you're growing up and there are millions of people out there going through the exact same thing. Take pride in being unique, but remember that the path you're about to go down is a well-trodden one. You will meet a lot of people that you view as far superior to you, yet are struggling themselves to find their place in the world. So don't panic, keep calm and carry on.

There is plenty to look forward to. A-Levels may be destroying your sanity, but I will let you in on a little secret. They mean nothing. They are just numbers and letters on a piece of paper. You need to remember that grades and exams are not as important as you think. It may have been drilled into you that it's a matter of life and death, but teachers and parents only say that because they have to. In reality, it's what you do outside of the classroom that really matters. Go out there and experience the world.

You have so much to look forward to. You'll change; sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Everyone has to grow up and you will do that. Emotions will come thick and fast, always threatening to ruin everything. You'll fool yourself into thinking you have finally found out what love is, and the realisation that you've been lying to yourself will be horrendous. It will hurt. It will be bad. But that's life. Pick yourself up, get that smile back on your face and move on. There's no point dwelling in the past, since that will just slow you down. Ironic really, due to our love of history. It all sounds morbid, but those years of growing up will be incredible.

Your friends will be with you through the pain and suffering of growing up. There will be some that come and go, but the ones that stick by your side are some of the greatest people you are ever likely to meet. The distance between you and those brilliant people may seem vast, but the lengths either you or they will go to in order to make sure everything is OK is truly spectacular. Never take them for granted, no matter how many times you question yourself over why you became friends with them in the first place. When a thought like that crosses your mind, happier ones will cast it out to remind you why you became friends in the first place. Never squander the gift that is their friendship.

Keep the family around as well. They are your biggest fans, and will love you no matter what. I want you to remember that every time you snap at them or criticise their actions. It will make you feel guilty immediately, because a group of people so kind and generous have no right to be subject to such rudeness. They will get in the way, ruin schedules and stick their noses into your private affairs, but that's what families do. Your independence may feel threatened, but you're just making a mountain out of a molehill. They just want to look out for you, especially when shit hits the fan. The eccentric brother, short but stern mother and larger than life father are the biggest supporters of Team Ben. They will literally follow you to the ends of the earth.

Life may seem overwhelming now, with so many choices ahead of you and time now becoming a precious commodity. Once, an entire day felt like a lifetime, and now a lifetime feels like a day. Growing up seems like an impossible task, but I will show you these pictures that will really put everything in perspective.


What a handsome chap. That's 2014 Ben, out and about having a wonderful time with a swish new haircut. Pretty cool, eh? Now let's jump ahead a few years.


That's you, aged 23. Quite a transition, wouldn't you say so? This isn't a chance to humbly brag, but it's a sign of what is to come. This is the result of hard work and making good life choices. This is what happens when you take control of your life and make a difference to how you live it. This is why growing up doesn't have to seem so scary. It's the chance to make yourself a better person, one that has the confidence to do what they want with the right attitude.

I won't lie to you, young Ben. It won't be a walk in the park. There will be challenges and events that will curb your momentum and make you feel like utter shit. Yet you still stand. After what feels like years of constant failure and a sense of being left behind by everyone else, you are still here. There will be people who criticise your actions and try to cover their own insecurities by preying on yours. But that won't stop you. Never feel like anything is unachievable, because then you've lost. All of those tiny goals you set along the way, from getting up early to go for a run to having the confidence to go for a job you are vastly under qualified for, all lead up to the ultimate one that both of us know. No one else does, so let's keep it a secret for now.

That's basically it, to be honest. I could tell you who to put money on to win all the major sporting events, but you and I both know how badly that will all end. Just look at Back to the Future Part II, although I'm sure we won't turn Farnham into some sort of hellscape full of gambling and loose morals. Instead, I shall leave you with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams'

Keep that in mind, young Ben. We'll get there eventually.

Sincerely,
Ben Goscomb
19/8/2018

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