Skip to main content

Our love of dystopia

'War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.'- Ingsoc's official slogan, as seen in 1984 by George Orwell
If he's always watching, then that means... oh God...
Ah, dystopia. In its simplest terminology, it is defined as an alternative reality in which things aren't brilliant and society is ruled by a totalitarian dictatorship in a setting caused by war, environmental disaster or another ghastly event. Either way, dystopia-themed novels, films or TV series always ignite the interests of a large sway of people. For some reason, we are attracted to the bleakness and dismay caused by a variety of factors, such as war, plague and environmental catastrophes. Alternate histories and realities allow people to stretch their imaginations, hypothesising scenarios based around a change in fortune for one side of a conflict. The main one, of course, is what would happen if the Nazis had triumphed during the Second World War. This has led to a string of novels turned into TV dramas, such as SS-GB (Len Deighton's novel from 1978) and The Man in the High Castle (Philip K. Dick's book from 1962). Just a small selection to choose from because there are loads; seriously, it's pretty overwhelming.

From cartoons such as Samurai Jack and Adventure Time to the hard hitting examples like 1984 (George Orwell, 1949) and The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood, 1985), dystopian stories always seem to draw in an audience. In our English lessons at school, we would study George Orwell's novel on 'Big Brother' and how he has nothing better to do with his time than watch you. Clearly, the Party are extremely bored and the occasional hanging doesn't excite the Oceania elite like it used to. Aldous Huxley's Brave New World presents a world of numbing drugs and the brainwashing of newly born infants (all born artificially) to prepare them for their new lives in a certain class in the World State's society. Who could forget, of course, Stanley Kubrick's film A Clockwork Orange, based on Anthony Burgess's 1962 novel, as Alex (Malcolm McDowell) and his 'droogs' go on a horrific crime spree whilst listening to classical music and drinking 'milk-plus'. Don't think I will ever feel the same about 'Singin' in the Rain' the same way again.
Milk was a bad choice
But why? Why do we relish in seeing our world fall to authoritarian governments or revert back to primitive levels of technology after a zombie outbreak? Well, good thing you stopped by then, so that question can be answered by a guy who has a sweet spot for dystopia. The idea for this article came about as a friend and I traversed London on our way to play football last weekend. The underground at Waterloo was near deserted, and we discussed whether this would be what a zombie apocalypse would be like. Our footsteps echoed all around us, as we envisaged ourselves casually chatting about any old rubbish and dispatching any zombie that dares ruin our socialising. It was fun to talk about such a subject, but at the same time it felt strange to take joy from the demise of society and the very real possibility that all that we had loved and cherished was long gone. That's what dystopias do to us, I guess.

GIVE ME THE LORE; I AM ADDICTED

I do love my history, no denying that, so I have a slight addiction to gripping stories full of plenty of twists and turns. It's my 'milk-plus', to throw in that reference yet again, but it doesn't cause an insatiable desire to commit 'ultra-violence'. Rather, it's the synopsis of each dystopia and the world building mechanics used that entices the curious audience deeper into this horrible but fascinating vision of an alternate world. The lore of The Handmaid's Tale pulled me in immediately, and I have been a fan of the show ever since (even with the mixed second season that finished on 11 July). For the United States to fall to a theocratic dictatorship that defines women as a means to an end, whether through manual labour, servitude or ritualised rape is so unbelievable that you want to learn more. Amidst dropping fertility rates and a fear of divine punishment, a selected few seized the moment and established a new regime based on their interpretation of the Bible, all for the good of creating a utopia in an otherwise awful world.
Would not recommend
That word, 'utopia', is the very base of these dystopian stories. From some sort of drastic event that plunges humanity into chaos, there always seems to be a group of individuals that take control of the situation and set out their vision of a new society. Its literal translation of 'no-place', coined from Greek by Sir Thomas More in his book Utopia (1516), has become narrowed to mean a society that is considerably better than our own. It seems ironic that this apparent perfect society turns out to be a living nightmare for anyone with a moral compass. The newly fledged class systems are in place in order to provide structure and purpose for the lives of ordinary folk, even though it is heavily favoured towards those that sit atop the pyramid. Doesn't seem to be much difference between the new world order and the world we currently live in. Sorry, let me just turn down my socialism gauge for a minute or two here.

The events that bring about this dystopian future/reality vary from a demon sending a samurai into the future in order to expand his empire and conquer the planet (Samurai Jack) to a good ol' zombie apocalypse as seen in The Walking Dead. As mentioned before, the allure of an alternative world where the Nazis triumphed over the Allies to solidify their place as the 'master race' is extremely popular amongst the alternative historians. Whilst The Man in the High Castle isn't the strongest show out there at the moment (no spoilers here, but let's just say it turned from dystopian drama to science-fiction romp in a flash), it's the premise that still keeps audiences engaged. The images of New York draped in swastikas or the Kempeitai (the Japanese military police) stalking the streets of San Francisco are thrilling in the sense that it seems impossible to imagine. But there it is, right in front of our eyes. Thanks to the lore, our love of dystopia takes root.
Pure evil, but damn it looks awesome
THE APPARENT 'HEROES'

With every good story, there needs to be heroes. In the case of dystopian scenarios, we need someone to cheer on as they slowly fight the system and encourage those around them to wake up and overthrow the establishment. Katniss Everdeen (played by Jennifer Lawrence in the films) of The Hunger Games is one such example, as she partakes in Panem's favourite televised event, 'The Hunger Games', as kids from every district of the nation fight to the death for everyone's amusement. She has suffered through much, such as the death of her father and extreme poverty, to become a badass survivalist determined to protect the ones she loves. Katniss proves this by volunteering as 'tribute' in place of her younger sister Prim, meaning that she gets to brawl it out with all the other kids in front of the entire nation. It begins a grand evolution of character as she moves from a humble volunteer to symbol of resistance against President Snow and his authoritarian government. Her steely persona may drive some away, but her desire to die for what she believes in makes her a relatable character to young adults, even if Katniss lives in a world where children are forced to fight each other. By breaking the system, Katniss shows how defiance triumphs over authority- something that teenagers just love to do.
Oh, hey Jennifer
Taking The Handmaid's Tale as another example, these 'heroes' are relatable as well due to the fact that it is set in the near future rather than many years past the traumatic event that destroyed society. The trials and tribulations of June/Offred (Elizabeth Moss) resonate more as her normal life was ripped apart by the rise of Gilead and her forced placement into the role of a 'Handmaid'. To be part of ritualised rape, especially by one as creepy as Commander Fred Waterford (Joseph Fiennes), and to be owned by said creep (she is 'Offred', as in 'being in the care of Fred') makes it far more painful to watch. The little victories June gains, such as making a witty remark out loud or in her head, are greeted with mad cheers as she takes on the patriarchy of Gilead. Hopefully, the fight keeps on going into the third season, with plenty of snarky comments and tiny moments of joy in the bleak setting of a theocratic dictatorship.
Nothing says 'badass' like walking through a deserted tunnel at night
Sometimes, our protagonist needs a good kick up the arse to get into gear and start doing something useful with their lives. For Guy Montag in Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury, 1953), that is precisely what happens. Employed as a fireman', whose job it is to burn books since they are outdated since TV and sport is deemed to be way more exciting, he slowly realises how silly that sounds. With the public oblivious to the world slowly marching towards self-destruction due to the constant stream of mindless entertainment (sound familiar?), Guy is determined to get people to see the truth, such as by interrupting his wife's viewing party with poetry and idle chit chat of the world outside of television. His collection of books had been growing over the years, and interactions with a young neighbour shows him the beauty of the world outside of this anti-intellectual dystopia Guy is part of. Once again, we have another relatable hero, as we all have times in our lives when the harsh realities of the world are laid out right before our eyes. Whether it's being falsely accused of a crime or witnessing a plane fly into the South Tower on 11 September 2001, the shock to the system is one that nobody ever forgets.

Then there are the more complex 'heroes' of dystopia. Winston Smith from Orwell's 1984 has all the characteristics of a hero, Working as a clerk for the Ministry of Truth, he spends his days amending historical documents in order to keep up to date with the current 'party line' and removing 'unpersons' (those who have fallen out of favour with the Party) from said documents. Winston sees firsthand the horrors of this totalitarian society, and wholeheartedly rebels against Ingsoc, the ruling party of Oceania. For example, he buys a diary from an antiques shop and repeatedly writes 'DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER'. It may not seem like the most daring of acts, but it is rebellious nonetheless, and allows him to vent his frustration whilst remaining incognito. While he may not be as dashing as the 'fiery [faced]' Guy Montag, the fact that Winston suffers from afflictions such as ulcers on the back of his legs shows how you don't have to be extremely gorgeous to fight the power; rather, it's the motives and belief to rebel in the first place that really matters.
John Hurt as Winston Smith in the 1984 film adaptation 
For Bernard Marx in Brave New World, he has no such courage in rebelling, even though his egotism prompts him to take pride in being rebellious. Bernard is an 'Alpha Plus', meaning that he sits atop the caste system of the World State, yet is uncharacteristically short due to an alcoholic incident with his blood-surrogate stunting his growth. Whilst he is an independent thinker and takes no joy from the communal events, casual sex or 'soma' (a calming drug), which are all major components of the World State, this is down to an inferiority complex and a fear of being ridiculed. Other characters such as John the Savage, a naturally born man who rashly acts on his own whims to push away conforming, and Helmholtz Watson, a writer struggling to find the words to showcase his feelings of emptiness in this society, are far more relatable than Bernard. Bernard proves to be a coward and a hypocrite, which is not a rare trait in people, yet takes away the status of being a 'hero' since he uses the glory of showing John to the world as a means to gain power and authority. A real hero would never use others to further themselves.

THE MOST VILLAINOUS VILLAINS TO HAVE EVER VILLAINED 

Our relatable heroes and protagonists need, of course, some villains to take on in an epic struggle for freedom. These characters act as the face of oppression, and are either the ones that control the entire system or are just loyal followers/ important figures in the authoritarian regimes. 'Big Brother' is the apparent leader of Oceania in 1984, and is always watching the activities of those under Ingsoc's control. Party propaganda heralds him as one of the founders of the party, yet it is likely that 'Big Brother' is just a personification of Ingsoc, much like Uncle Sam is to the United States. It is clear how great a villain 'Big Brother' is as its terminology has expanded to be included into our everyday vocabulary. The threatening persona of this omnipotent presence has now become associated with acts by the government to increase surveillance and expand their control over our normal lives. Big Brother, the reality show about people under constant surveillance, was first aired on Dutch television in 1999, and has now very much overstayed its welcome as there have been over 54 different franchises across the world. As O'Brien, a leading figure in the Inner Party, remarks to Winston, 'Big Brother' is supposedly immortal. This can certainly be true as Big Brother continues to run in various forms across the globe.
Please... go... away
'His Fordship' Mustapha Mond, Resident World Controller of Western Europe, is very much a real person as one of the ten Controllers of the World State. As one of the leaders of this regime, Mond should come across as a lunatic who is power mad and takes great pleasure in ruling over the drugged up populace. Yet he is refined and intelligent, whilst also being a passionate advocate of what the World State stands for; 'Community, Identity, Stability'. In his youth, Mustapha was an opponent to the system, yet gradually saw the need to sacrifice the creative arts and freedom in general to create a perfect world. It's a very extreme form of utilitarianism (i.e. the greatest good for the greatest number), and defends the World State and their methods of artificial birth, a caste system and extreme oppression. Happiness is the ultimate goal, and Mond is dedicated to bringing it to the people. His motives are pure, but the means are dark. Man, I feel so conflicted.

There are so many more antagonists that could be mentioned here, and all follow the same mould of Mond or 'Big Brother' in that they are either the all-powerful ruler of this dystopian world or are believers in the system. For all The Handmaid's Tale fans out there, there needs to be some mention of the Waterfords. Aunt Lydia (Ann Dowd) may be the driving force behind sending the Handmaids into a life of ritualised rape, yet Offred's host family are far more villainous. Commander Waterford is the one who rapes June, so that automatically gives him a good scumbag rating straight from the off. All his actions have more sinister motives, and is keen to exploit the weaknesses of others in order to further himself. It's typical villain behaviour, and his wife Serena Joy (Yvonne Strahovski) isn't much better. While the second season of the show may have made attempts to humanise her, it doesn't excuse her rage at being a slave to the society she helped to create. Before Gilead rose to power, Serena spoke of how women needed to return to a more traditional role, which basically became domestic slavery under the theocratic dictatorship. June receives the worst of her anger, and is Fred's accomplice in her continuous raping as she holds her down to perform the ritual. Fred is still far more evil though; after all, he was an architect in the terrorist attacks that brought down the United States government.
You'll get what's coming to you
Stories need compelling villains, and through these few examples it is plain to see the common traits they share. They believe in the system, whether as its overlords or through their own reasoning in seeing how things are better now than they ever were. Mustapha Mond reasoned that the World State was necessary for humanity's survival after the Nine Years' War and subsequent economic collapse, as basic liberties had to be sacrificed for the greater good (the greater good). 'Big Brother' stands as the apparent leader of Oceania, and is the figure of the regime that is most likely used as a representation of the real masters behind the scenes. With the Waterfords, they are just terrible people who act like terrible people and deserve a fate only fitting for their terribleness. What their future holds is unbeknownst to us, yet it is always nice to daydream about their fates. I believe watching every series of Big Brother back to back will do nicely.  

WE ARE ALL A LITTLE SADISTIC AND A LITTLE BIT CURIOUS

Being a fan of the 'Wolfenstein' video game series means that I have seen my fair share of a world ruled by a technologically superior Nazi Germany. The Man in the High Castle, despite its numerous drawbacks, does an excellent job in showcasing a victorious Germany, as Germania spreads its tentacles across the Third Reich. While there are absolutely no fascist sympathies coursing through my veins, the sight of super soldiers stalking the streets, propaganda posters boasting of German genetic superiority and colossal structures made out of 'Über Concrete' rising from the earth is actually something you can't help but look at. It's horrifying, no denying that, yet it is so unbelievable that it entices us in. Much like when driving past an accident on the motorway, we can't help but 'rubberneck' and look at the destruction blocking traffic all the way from Portsmouth to London. 
Traffic seems to be flowing well in the capital of the Third Reich
For some reason, humans are attracted to disasters and carnage. It is awful to watch tragedy unfurl on news reports and hear stories of survival and horror, but we don't shut them out. Rather, we search for more information in an attempt to fully gauge what has just occurred. That is why, in a way, dystopias are attractive to us. As mentioned before with the lore and backstory to dystopia, the events preceding the rise of this apparent 'utopia' revolve around war, environmental disaster or a mass infection that causes infertility or turns people into brain hungry monsters. When faced with such a society, our own survival instincts kick in and we imagine how we would fare in a society based on religious scripture or one that relies heavily on censorship in order to keep pumping out mindless mass media. While a film like 2012 isn't a dystopia, and was an absolute waste of 158 minutes of our lives, the scenes of monuments collapsing into the earth and everything going to pot made it watchable, and many imagined how they would fare as the ground tilted upwards and slid into the abyss. Putting ourselves in Winston Smith's shoes, as he quietly rebels against the system, ignites our imagination and brings us deeper into this bleak world. Hell, even watching The Walking Dead makes one think of how long they could survive in a world full of zombies and complicated plot points.
I'd put all my faith in Rick
Perhaps it is the hopelessness of the majority of dystopian settings that really grips audiences. In a way, seeing that the world can really be so much worse actually makes us feel better about ourselves in a twisted way. While the feeling of imagining ourselves being openly critical to the authoritarian regime or being a kickass zombie killer is enticing, it's knowing that there is an extremely high chance of failure that really intensifies our fantasies. That adrenaline boost makes everything far more intense, with that sinking feeling of 'Big Brother' constantly watching or that big pile of hidden books being a source of danger rather than one of knowledge upping the stakes. Yet reality soon sets back in, and we calmly remind ourselves of how it's all just a story; surely these elitist societies that cripple freedom and curtail liberty can't possibly exist?

POWERFUL TRUTHS THAT ARE LIKE A SLAP TO THE FACE

People find a creative spark from the world around them. When the fantastically talented Claude Monet set about painting his world famous Water Lilies series, with 6 of the approximate 250 paintings hanging in the Musée de l'Orangerie in Paris, he took inspiration from his garden in his Giverny home and added an Impressionist spin on them. George R. R. Martin, author of A Song of Ice and Fire series that gave us the incredible Game of Thrones TV series, clearly read his history and draws heavily from events such as the bitter struggle for power between the houses of York and Lancaster (Stark and Lannister), otherwise known as the War of the Roses. A massive wall keeps the wildlings at bay, and is clearly a nod to Hadrian's Wall and its function of keeping the Scots out of England. Indeed, the Red Wedding (I'm still recovering from it, by the way) shares a strong resemblance to the Black Dinner of 1440, as supporters of James II of Scotland removed two members of Clan Douglas at a dinner of reconciliation at Edinburgh Castle. Martin certainly sees the world in a more hostile light to Monet and his peace inducing water lilies.

Take me back
The same can be said for the dystopian genre. Ingsoc's process of removing 'unpersons' in Orwell's 1984 was a common practice during Joseph Stalin's rule over the USSR, as political opponents such as Leon Trotsky were removed from photographs to diminish their importance in the Soviet hierarchy. He wrote 1984 as a cautionary tale to how revolution (Orwell identified himself as a democratic socialist) could be betrayed by the more totalitarian orientated members of said revolution. As could be seen in another of his novels, Animal Farm (1945), the pigs designate themselves to lead the new society on Jones' Farm and begin purging those who are no longer useful to society, or remove those seen as traitors. It is a clear allegory of the Russian Revolution of 1917, born out of a desire for a better life under new equal ideals, being hijacked by those that craved power and sought to cement their regime through a cult of personality. Orwell was a harsh critic of the Soviet Union, and used his writings to further voice his opposition. The fact that the methods of Ingsoc or the pigs isn't far from the true policies of the USSR shows the reader the dangers of totalitarianism infecting revolution.
'All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others'
The Soviet Union may no longer be in existence, but the message of being wary of totalitarianism remains true to this day. One book that certainly holds a great amount of truth when compared to modern life is Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. As a great fan of literature (not surprising, as he is an author), Bradbury grew up witnessing events such as the book burnings conducted by the Nazi Party in order to remove any piece of writing deemed to be a threat to Nazi ideology. Specifically, books written on communism or written by Jewish authors were thrown onto the bonfire in order to 'save' the German people from such harmful material. In the aftermath of the Second World War, as the Cold War descended upon the political landscape, the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC, formed in 1938) began an investigation into Hollywood in 1947 which resulted in the blacklisting of the 'Hollywood Ten'. Initially formed to root out suspected communists within American society, the group had attacked American creativity, and it would only worsen from there. The rise of Senator Joseph McCarthy and his tirades on suspected enemies of the state, coupled with the Truman Doctrine (1947) and the desire to contain communism, only made Bradbury more critical towards government interference. With television and radios now becoming consumer products, the stars were aligning for Bradbury to write a story of how human creativity through the means of literature was detrimental to society's progress, and only numbing media can save the nation from an impending nuclear holocaust. Might be wise putting the smartphone down for a second and taking a look at the world around you...
The overlord that fits perfectly in your hand
Keeping with the theme of modern comparisons, it can be argued that Suzanne Collins and her Hunger Games series is allegorical in that the youth are punished for the mistakes of the older generation. It will be our generation that picks up the pieces of Brexit, and it is Katniss and the younger citizens of Panem that are forced to fight due to a failed rebellion by the Districts against the Capitol. Yet it is The Handmaid's Tale and its dreary telling of how women are viciously suppressed by the state that is argued to be a close comparison to today's world. The debate still rages to this day on how much truth there is in that statement, but there is a valid case. In the realm of Gilead, women have babies whether they like it or not, as rising infertility rates means that the miracle of childbirth is more important than ever. Trump's government has a Vice-President (Mike Pence) who is anti-abortion, and it is clear that men like Pence (i.e. male conservatives) are in complete control of the country. The 'Sons of Jacob', Gilead's ruling elite, are similar to the conservatives running around the White House in that their faith sways their political agenda, rather than what is in the best interests of the nation. Certainly not as radical as the 17th century Puritans that arrived to establish colonies on the east coast, yet these pilgrims themselves are certainly a massive influence on Atwood. The women of Gilead are forbidden to read and earn a living for themselves, increasing their reliance on their husbands. With the 'glass ceiling' still suffocating ambitious working women, the parallels keep mounting up, especially when living in a world with more reported cases of STIs and obscure environmental events. As temperatures continue to skyrocket in the UK, there is certainly an argument. Moreover, children being taken away from their families, much like the 'Stolen Generation' of Aboriginal children put into white Australian families in order to assimilate them into 'civilisation', adds on even more comparisons as the Handmaids' children are granted to their owners. But it can't really happen... right?
I'm sure we will be fine
The fact that these works of literature are heavily influenced by the world around them (Atwood, as an added note, wrote The Handmaids Tale at a time when Ronald Reagan became President and began a more conservative programme) is terrifying in itself. Each of these fictional works are exaggerated versions of the world the authors lived in. The 'what if' scenarios that create these dystopian worlds come from events that are plausible in our lifetime, such as environmental catastrophes or a nuclear holocaust. 1984 served as a warning to how individuals can alter the system unfavourably to suit their own needs, while Fahrenheit 451 showed a world that rejected literature and championed idiotic television to distract people from incoming disaster. The morals and meanings behind each new dystopian world are timeless, and much like the lessons of history, they must never be ignored. Like a slap to the face, it stings immediately, and you won't forget about it anytime soon.
Poor Dwight
Blame for this mildly morbid post surely sits on the shoulder of the friend of mine that commented on how an empty underground station reminded him of a zombie apocalypse. For the two of us to joke of potential misadventures in a world overpopulated by the dead was humorous to say the least, and was certainly derived from examples like Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland. Their satirical take on the idea of a dystopia (or just the genre of zombie apocalypses in general) adds more weight to the idea of the relatable tone of dystopias. We imagine ourselves in the shoes of the protagonist/ hero; a rebel against the state, risking their lives to find meaning in a world that isn't as perfect as the authorities claim. Teenagers flock towards these stories as if it were 'soma', and will certainly be the biggest target audience for years to come. The origins of each dystopian society is fascinating to us, as 'what if' questions give rise to a technologically dominant Nazi Germany or how a horrific conflict created a world of artificial births and a strict caste system. Antagonists are the figures of authority, perhaps a personification of the state, that are the recipients of our rage. They believe they are in the right with their warped ideas of 'utopia'- then there are those that are just bad people (looking at you, Fred Waterford and Serena Joy).

Dystopia will always remain popular, especially in times of crisis. The election of Trump saw sales of 1984 skyrocket in January 2017, as Penguin USA's publicity director Craig Burke reported of how the publisher had ordered 75,000 more copies of the book. Sinclair Lewis's book It Can't Happen Here (1936), which tells of how Berzelius Windrip defeats Franklin D. Roosevelt to become President in 1936, also saw a surge in popularity. 'Buzz' won the election on populist support, promoting himself as a champion of the American people and promising a return to American greatness. The United States had fallen to a dictator that crippled the effectiveness of Congress and oppressed the rights of women. As people flee to Canada to escape this new regime, others stay behind due to their undying support to the necessary steps needed to restore American prosperity. Some, however, resist this new regime and set about reversing the unfortunate results of a very strange Presidential election. If you're mind is buzzing with a sense of 'this all sounds very familiar', there is no need to be alarmed. After all, it can't happen here.
Oops
Ben G 😁 xo

P.S. Sad to report that my Victoria Sponge did not win the prize at the 2018 Bourne Show, but the brownies made especially for the Dog Show went down a treat!
With a nice Instagram filter as well
P.P.S. Oh, and I found Captain America's shield. Many thanks to 'Big School' not just for the work they do in tutoring children in the Farnham area, but for letting me pose with the shield.
Dream come true

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The 100th Post: The End of 'Absolute Shambles'

'So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye'- 'So Long, Farewell' from The Sound of Music , 1965 Post Number 100. The bunting has been hoisted out of the cupboard and is now strung up in all its glory. Caterers are hurriedly preparing a lavish spread for the exclusive event that surrounds such a historic moment, which will be attended by the biggest celebrities on the planet. People such as Barack Obama, Sir Patrick Stewart and LeBron James are waiting for the gold envelope to slide through the letterbox and invite them to the prestigious gathering. Celine Dion is warming up her vocal cords to sing a duet with Ed Sheeran, who will perform a special song written by Pharrell Williams. Dwayne Johnson and Channing Tatum will be running security for the night, hoping to keep out any party crashers who want to catch a glimpse of this humble blogger and his famous entourage. Seriously, this makes the Oscars look like a primary school disco. Master of Ceremonies Sadly,

Another 'Week in History': 3 June- 9 June

'Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle-hardened. He will fight savagely... I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full victory! Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking'- Dwight D. Eisenhower, in an address to the Allied Expeditionary Force, 2 June 1944 Absolute Shambles  has reached its penultimate post. Much like the premiership of Theresa May , the end to this turbulent and embarrassing time in history is coming to an end. The very small but loyal following (please make yourself known) are probably sobbing uncontrollably and are disturbing anyone who comes across them as they spill their tears on the floor while huddled in a ball. For everyone else, the closing of the blog is likely met with reactions such as 'Who the hell cares?', 'Ben had a blog?' and 'Finally, more focus

Hands up if you want to be Prime Minister

'You mustn't expect prime ministers to enjoy themselves. If they do, they mustn't show it- the population would be horrified'- Edward Heath (Prime Minister 1970-1974), 1976 Humans are awfully violent creatures. A quick scan through the epic saga that is our species' history reveals how brutal some people can be. Warfare, betrayals, general instances of being a complete bastard; yep, human history has it all! Even though we have become more 'civilised' as we straightened ourselves out, mastered the whole walking on two legs business and constructed society, that predatory instinct has stayed with us to this day. We don't have to hunt for our food thanks to supermarkets, but we keep our targets in our sights. Whenever weakness is detected, out springs that side of humanity that got us through some rocky times with all those dinosaurs and other big beasties stomping about. In this world of smart phones, Fortnite and all that, humans are still very much c