Dear 'They Are Billions', please can I have my sanity back?

SHAUN: Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?

ED: Yeah, boyyyeee!

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Shaun of the Dead, 2004

I remain in exile. There is no certain time frame when I can return to the working world, and the fear that my ordeal will hang over my head for the foreseeable future makes that return just a tad more terrifying. Nevertheless, with free time still in plentiful amounts, mixed in with hunting for potential employment and training for that 100 km walk that is drawing ever closer, I feel that it's time to play some video games. The trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2 got me all in a tizzy, and I have to distract myself from the lure of Avengers: Infinity War spoilers. I've seen the memes, people disappear, but who is it?! I must know but I find myself compelled to rewatch all the movies from the MCU, just to fully appreciate what is at stake. I'm coming for you Thanos...

One of the gamers I follow on YouTube/ Twitch goes by the name of 'Sips', who spends his days sitting in his Dad garage playing games and drinking tea. While his seemingly incredible life of living in Jersey playing video games seems appealing, he subjects himself to games that not only make him rage, but makes his followers and subscribers roll their eyes as he skips tutorials and rages his way through gems such as Skyrim and Prison Architect. It was a game that he played a few months ago that peaked my curiosity, as it was a glorious blend of steampunk, RTS and zombie killing. Titled They Are Billions, I took the plunge on Friday (4/5/2018) and began my journey of leading my plucky colonists through the endless zombie hordes and the unforgiving landscape. Was I ready? No, not in the slightest.

Oh, it look great now, but just wait

Produced by Numantian Games, the game is still in early access, so from the off you know that there will be a few elements to the game that appear unfinished. No game starts off perfectly, but the platform created is a strong one. Yet surely They Are Billions is slightly misleading? I mean, there are plenty of zombies around that give off the impression that there are billions of them, but it's thousands at best. 'They Are Thousands' doesn't have the same ring to it though, but even then could it be 'There Are Billions'? I doubt this is the concern of the developers, but I just feel that it's an issue worth discussing. Grammar is integral after all, and people get offended by everything nowadays so I doubt Numantian Games want a legal case on their hands as people felt misled by the 'billions' in the title. Just a friendly word of warning.

The gist is pretty simple. There's a zombie apocalypse, humanity is screwed and now must fend off the hordes of thousands/ billions. From a Command Centre (the HQ), surrounded by 4 rangers and a soldier, you must build up this colony to withstand the zombie invasion and keep humanity alive for another day. Tents spring up, sawmills and quarries (for iron, stone and gold mining) are constructed, and walls surround the slowly growing settlement. The 'fog of war' means troops must be sent out to uncover the map and kill off small pockets of zombies, yet may encounter a 'Village of Doom' which is a breeding ground for this undead nightmare. Over time, the zombies get tougher and slowly make their way towards the Command Centre. Hordes come periodically, and it's every man/ woman to their posts, fighting back the relentless swarm. One small break in, one infected building and it's all over. The stakes are high.

I told you it wouldn't last

I knew what I was getting myself into though. Watching gameplay gave me a good early idea of what I was about to unleash onto myself, but my mental state would hold... in theory, at least. Billions is unforgiving, brutal and has no mercy. Much like a marauding Englishman on a chevauchée in France during the Hundred Years' War, nobody is safe, whether it's the player, the colonists or the neighbours as they drop their lunch due to the shock of hearing rage coming from next door. Every run is on 'ironman' mode, so tactical saves are null and void. One moment of letting your guard down and suddenly the whole process of building a beautiful colony comes crashing down. Tactics are key, and every single bit of space must be fully utilised. It's all well and good to 'ball up' the early game troops and go on a killing spree, but all areas must be defended. Patrolling the outer edges of the colony ensures a basic degree of safety, and the experience gained by the armed forces at this early stage will be pivotal come the later stages. The colony may be expanding and zombies are falling fast, but one must never lure themselves into a false sense of security. Mankind is on the brink of extinction, and this is no time for selfish heroics. 

The steampunk feel of the game brings with it scenes of glorious 19th century machinery, yet not on the scale of the likes of the Dishonored and BioShock Infinite. It's quite an unfair comparison, since Billions is no stealthy adventure or first-person shooter, but Numantian Games do an excellent job of creating a world of steampunk loving colonists staving off a zombie apocalypse. The interface allows players, who may feel overwhelmed with the task of surviving against extreme odds, to ease themselves into the game, as each building comes with a description of what their function is. Pausing the game through the pressing of the precious spacebar also allows everything to be just that bit more manageable. The Command Centre, for example, is the 'main building of the colony' and is the place to order the construction of new buildings. A voice gives constant updates on the latest news coming out of humanity's last outpost, whether it's a newly constructed building, a soldier under attack or even infection spreading across the colony (which induces a lot of rage, obviously). Building requirements will also give either a green or red indicator, with squares on the grid either colour to indicate whether you can build their or not, depending on whether it blocks free access to buildings or the terrain is not suitable for building. Indeed, each buildings requires a certain resource, such as workers, wood or food, meaning that a crucial building must remain unbuilt until the needs are met. Frustrating, but it teaches the player the importance of long-term strategy, and the clever positioning of each building, especially if later game buildings (such as a Market, for selling extra resources, or a Warehouse to store said resources) give boosts to existing buildings in the area.

Steady now, don't do anything rash

The hordes, in a standard 100 day game, usually appear every 10-15 days, starting out small before the 'billions' descend upon the colony around Day 90. By then, technology should be at a point where defences are up to scratch, with the stone walls holding strong and the hulking Executors raining bullets upon the undead. Clearing the 'fog of war' and any Villages of Doom certainly helps, not just because a destroyed building gives bonus resources, but means there are less zombies to deal with once all hell breaks loose. Rapid and aggressive expansion is certainly required, fitting in perfectly with the 19th century steampunk atmosphere. I know colonialism isn't necessarily the best thing in the world, but in this case it is necessary. I'm sure millennials will be in an uproar by the forced mechanic of stealing land from the indigenous zombies, but drastic times call for drastic measures. Just have a vape and calm down.

Every new game of Billions is a gamble. Every map is different, apart from the different map types, such as the vanilla 'Dark Moorland', the sandy 'Peaceful Lowlands', the chilly 'Frozen Highlands' and the unforgiving 'Desolated Wasteland'. Mayors are elected when population milestones are reached, and give certain bonuses such as extra units, technology and resource buffs. Natural defences, such as water, mountains and forests, seem great as resources don't have to spent on building defences, yet space becomes limited and is a nightmare for anyone with OCD. Water can be utilised for food through a Fishing Cottage, and forests give wood through a Sawmill and extra food with a Hunter Cottage, yet space is still needed. Rapid expansion must then be undertaken, running the risk of annoying zombies who are having a leisurely stroll. Once again, the long-term strategy of building placement comes into play, and may even require a total restructuring to fully utilise space, which runs the risk of running out of resources fast at crucial times; most likely when a horde is coming. Those poor colonists, they have enough troubles on their plate. The world is ending, their family is gone, and their only hope rests upon a young adult who has no real world experience of city planning.

Don't be fooled, the suit just hides my inability to adult

Energy is also pivotal to the survival of humanity. Mills supply energy to the colony, and the Tesla Towers mean that the energy rage can be expanded across the map, yet the connection between each one must be properly defended. One break in the chain and suddenly the whole grid goes down, plunging the colonists into both darkness and danger. Placement, much like with all buildings, is key, as no building can be constructed within a certain range of one another. A giant forest may look like an exciting wood source, but poor placement with that first Sawmill means that the abundant source is not fully exploited. Workshops allow new tech to be researched, and the early game grind towards this first crucial building (the Wood Workshop leads to the Stone Workshop, before the Foundry gives the strong late game units and buildings) means that it's a race against time. The researching of the Snipers (my favourite unit in the game), for example, or the improved dwelling that is the simple Cottage, can mean a more efficient process of clearing the map of straggling zombies and the bonus workers and gold given from improved living quarters. Seemed so simple at the start, right?

But none of that matters, of course, if one zombie breaks through. Patrols may be all around the outer reaches of the colony, the walls are well maintained and the resources are flowing, yet that handy voice suddenly makes you aware that the colony is under attack. A quick click on the mini map or on the prompt that appears on the left hand side of the screen (again, good interface) suddenly shows a zombie attacking a Tesla Tower or a lone quarry, which goes dark and a group of zombies suddenly spring forth. Troops are called back in, panic walls are built, but it's too late. One zombie becomes 5, then 15, before the entire population of London is surrounding the Command Centre and the Game Over music begins to play as your final score rolls up from the bottom of the screen. It was all going so well, with the population at a steady 600 and the number of infected dead well into the thousands, but that ONE zombie breaks through ONE small area after ONE small lapse in concentration and suddenly that's it. Done. Dead. Good game. See you next time. Even playing on the calmer 75% difficulty can't save you for long.

Torture

It's that ' see you next time' element that makes Billions so annoying, yet addictive. The randomness of every map and the unknown fate of every colonist draws players back in. Essentially, the basic gambling mentality of the average person keeps players hooked, much like how one scratch card here and there seems like a great idea, but you always think that next time the jackpot is yours. For me, the most frustrating aspect of Billions, i.e. the randomness and potential brutality of each map, is its greatest quality. It seems logical to implant successful elements of previous runs into the next one, but those tactics may be useless this time around. A more defensive approach may seem fine if resources are close by, but a new map may require a more aggressive expansion, meaning that troops have to push out fast and run the risk of dying for the good of humanity. There's always a new frustrating element to each game, but playing the same map over and over again gets boring. Much like in a game of Civilisation or Age of Empires, it's all a luck of a draw.

With the game still in early access, there are faults to this butt clenching game. The path finding of units is pretty buggy, as troops either go as the crow flies (meaning they end up running into walls forever or through a horde of zombies) or take inconvenient routes around the entire map just because there is no gap for them to pass through. A simple tactic of falling back suddenly becomes a nightmare as the humble Ranger snags onto a bush and is eaten alive, opening up the colony to certain doom. Line of sight also screws players over frequently, as a zombie can sneak in due to a patrol or troop placement being just outside the range of attack. This may be down to the fault of the player, of course, yet surely the fact that a zombie is within the units' eyesight (i.e. a clear space within the 'fog of war') means that the zombie is within attacking range? Perhaps this is down to poor placement, or I am just looking for excuses to bash the game. Seriously, that game over screen might as well be my new desktop background!

Think I will keep it to this though

Yet Billions is still in early access, and due to it being released back in January (yeh, I'm really late to the party on this one, but I've had other things on my mind, quite frankly) Numantian Games would have had plenty of time to fix any of the small bugs. Indeed, the most recent update was released on 4 May, and introduce 'The Six Wonders' to the building roster. These require a lot of resources, yet their rewards are vital to survival. The Silent Beholder, for example, can be placed on top of the Command Centre and permanently reveals all the enemies on the map, saving the need for building numerous Radar Towers. The campaign is on the way as well, and it will be interesting to see what kind of direction it takes. As of now, early access players can only play in Survival mode, so developers need to be careful of not falling into the trap of making Campaign Mode similar to the Survival Mode. Arbitrary scenarios and events, mixed in with certain victory requirements seems like a simple concept of a campaign of an RTS title, yet Billions is brutal enough to make any mission a challenge.

'Challenge' may actually seem like a gross understatement. Zombies become stronger and more aggressive over time, with enemy types starting out with the simple Infected Aged or Decrepit, through to the suit wearing Executives and the special types which seem extremely close to the ones from Left 4 Dead (the Venom from Billions spits acid much like a Spitter from Left 4 Dead). Those Villages of Doom don't help either, as zombies stumble forward from these houses and angrily demand that you get off their lawn, in some kind of twist on Plants vs Zombies. The removal of these obstacles are instrumental in ensuring survival, and those resources will certainly go a long way in withstanding the hordes. The ever reliable Snipers can easily be balled up into a force of total destruction and remove the clumps of enemies that endanger the lives of your plucky colonists. Many good men will go down for the cause, but it's all worth it for that extra gold to build some sweet new buildings. That's the horrors of war and progress, I'm afraid. But hey, those Thanatos with their rocket launchers are pretty sweet.

Go, my snipers!

Every new game, much like the hopes of every Arsenal fan at the start of every season, begins with high hopes, yet will most likely end with rage and hatred. They Are Billions is very unforgiving at times, and even some of my greatest colonies have succumbed to the zombie menace. Sacramento was going so well, but a mid/ late game wave overwhelmed the citizens of Sacramento and I had to take a minute. Derby and Slough fell quickly, I thought that perhaps going down a fantasy driven route could propel me to greatness. Sadly, 'TheShire' (you can't use the space bar when naming colonies- come on game designers!) was not my great achievement. My desperation to succeed also led to aptly named colonies such as FuckOff and  IWantToDie, in order to release my anger in a more constructive way. Even though failure was abundant, and I felt ever more guilty in continuously leading humanity to a bitter and brutal extermination, I always wanted to try again. A better start point, with no Villages in sight, and a mayor with a strong bonus, could just give me the edge this time. False hope was all I had left.

Gone but not forgotten

This unforgiving, but thoroughly enjoyable, game is well worth a play. It tests your ability to not only carefully plan for the future, but also your bravery in further expanding the colony. There is always a race against time, whether it's to build walls and defences in time for a periodic raid or just to expand to new areas in order to deal with the needs of the colony. The steam punk genre is certainly popular at the moment, especially with the release of Frostpunk last month, and Numantian Games do an excellent job at capturing the atmosphere of a bleak dystopia powered by industry and steam. A strong mental state is required, and that's not just because you will need it to start again once the eventual demise of humanity comes. Concentration must never falter, and your morale must never waver, even if that Sniper ball is overwhelmed by the Village of Doom just a stone's throw away from the Command Centre. There will be rage, I can promise that, but when that timer clicks over to Day 100, it will all be worth it.

The Ben of a month ago had no idea what he was going to get himself into

When the campaign is released, I hope to be just about ready to lead humanity through the dark days of a zombie apocalypse. Until that point though, I must keep chugging away at survival mode and bringing my sanity back to decent levels through re-watching all the movies from the MCU. It does mean getting through The Incredible Hulk and Thor: The Dark World, but it will all be worth it in the end. Thanks to They Are Billions, I'm sure my mental capabilities will be able to withstand some of the 'less than average' Marvel films, all ready for the rollercoaster of emotions that is apparently Avengers: Infinity War. As I said at the start, I'm coming for you Thanos, and my warning is now extended to the zombies that are determined to destroy my colonies. Maybe just one more game, I know I can do it this time...

Thanos knows what will happen 

Ben G 😁 xo

P.S. I mentioned a few weeks ago that Farnham had staged an epic comeback to seal a place in a cup final. Happy to report that we ran out 57-0 winners to claim the President's Chalice. Many beers were consumed, and I found myself on Sunday morning on my sofa still in shirt and tie. Good night, by all accounts.

Got to wear my orange mouldies as well- worth it

P.P.S. The walk to Brighton is slowly approaching, and on Tuesday the lovely team from Battersea sent over a shirt for me to wear proudly when attempting this task. My page is still active, and all donations are greatly appreciated!