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Resolute on resolutions

It's shopping day. You step into the supermarket with a list full of healthy items that are sure to keep your heart beating by the time you turn 30. But as you enter, your eyes are drawn towards the confectionery, placed strategically by the door in order for you to grab a quick reward for being an adult and doing the shopping. They look so good... it's as if they are calling to you. Their siren-like calls are enticing you towards them. It is too hard to resist; the diet is about to be slain.

Your hands reach towards a Crunchie (the superior chocolate bar) but then you come to your senses. 'NO!' you scream, drawing back your hand as if it had touched a hot stove. Fellow shoppers recoil in fear at your outburst, but you care not. You got up at 5am to do that HIIT session for a reason, and that was because you are now a healthy human being. You take a breath, compose yourself and grab the avocados, almonds and lean white meats. People clap and cheer as you make your way to the self-checkout, swiping those items through with pride. Tears roll down their faces as you pull out your Nectar card (or some other rewards card), claim those points and, once the correct amount of currency has been exchanged, victory! Dieting has never felt so good.

A slice of Heaven
OK, that was extremely dramatic, but fighting the temptation of delicious treats is certainly a good feeling. At this early stage of 2018, small victories like these sets an excellent tone for the rest of the year. January is coming to an end, but it is one of the most brutal months of all. It is the month where numerous resolution deaths occur, and mental strength is put to the test. It is the time of year when resolutions shall either be tossed aside or will be continued right through to the very end. A great journey is either about to be embarked upon, or a lack of will power has stopped it before it has even begun.

For me, I have never been a massive fan of resolutions. People just use them to make 'deep' Instagram posts about how this will be their year. Teenage girls will constantly post about their new leggings, with many hashtags such as #gym, #2018IsMyYear and #KaleIsBae. It's a mockery to fitness really, as these people just use their 'sick new gym lyfes' to get attention, whether it's through motivational comments from friends, praise for their choice in clothing or even as a way to impress that David guy in their Maths class who has dreamy eyes and a butt that doesn't quit. Bloody millennials.

What satisfies me is that these people will bail pretty quickly. They suddenly realise that going to the gym isn't just about posting pictures and chatting with your mates; you actually have to exercise. GASP! As soon as their new vests get sweaty and their hair is ruined after doing one session, then kale is no longer 'Before Anyone Else' and Netflix comes back to fill that void. Netflix is great, but when you set a resolution to make a difference to yourself, then you really need to see it through.

I mock Kale way too much
To be totally honest, I'm not sure really sure where I'm going with this post. Honestly, I feel like I'm killing time between now and my post for next week, which (SPOILER ALERT) is about the Super Bowl. For the first time in years, my Philadelphia Eagles are in the championship game and I now have a distinct interest in the outcome. I tell a lie actually; I always root for the team that's not the New England Patriots or the Dallas Cowboys, cos those guys suck. But more on that next week, let's go back to resolutions and why I'm going on about this.

So a new year always brings about a wave of resolutions. Health will be sorted, people will want to travel more or even just be a little happier. It's easy enough to say that you're going to do it, but it's a whole different story when seeing them through. As I've already said, some people are scared of getting sweaty and smelly when exercising, so are put off it entirely even though they posted 100 pictures of their new kit. For someone who has actually been through a complete change in lifestyle, I know how hard it is and understand why people are scared of it. But for the love of God, if you're going to make a big deal of it, then just do it!

I know I go on about how I like being fit and healthy and all that, but I'm so proud of my achievements and how much better I feel, both inside and out, that when someone says that 'I'm going to eat better and do more exercise', then I'm really happy and know that they are going to feel so much better after it. I don't want to lecture people on how to live their lives, that's such a dickish thing to do. But there are people out there who are humbly and quietly making a change to their lives, but attention and praise is diverted away from them since the fake gym-goers are hogging it all with their social media presence. Not fair.

Like them
Don't get me wrong, setting a resolution shows some sort of awareness that you aren't particularly happy about one part of your life. Wanting to travel more, for example, makes me think that this particular person wants to break free from their boring life and see the world. Growing up suddenly takes away all that free time you had as a kid, and there's a big wide world out there that is just begging to be experienced. Change can be a good thing, and life shouldn't become one long boring routine. Variety, much like in cooking, is key.

But as I've already ranted about, people use resolutions as a way to get attention. So here comes a nice and simple conclusion; if you have set yourself a resolution, whether it's being healthy or to make time to see friends, then your intentions need to be good ones. Don't use it as a way to show off, get attention or to inflate your ego, but instead show the world that you are a whole new person. Life has tried to break you down, so you kicked it in the balls and did some squats before going out for some cocktails. Now that's the way to do it.

Teenage Ben approves
I wouldn't call it a resolution, but my goals for this year is to keep maintaining a healthy life (doing well, even though Thursday was full of ice cream and waffles- thank you Alex Bensley) and to start working more for me rather than people who have no idea what they are doing. I've been fucked over too many times during my life, and quite frankly I'm sick of it. I don't know how to solve this dilemma, but I know I will find a way.

Indeed, if you have somewhat failed with your resolutions already, then don't be too beat up about it. There are 11 more months in the year, so there is no excuse to give up now. Cake may have been digested and your recycling bins are filled with discarded doughnut packages and empty Nutella jars, but there's no shame in it. Just pick yourself up, get in that gym and stay focused. Change doesn't happen overnight, and those diet pills are basically scams, so you need to put the work in I'm afraid. Don't worry though, you will look like Adam Peaty in no time.

I swear half of these pictures are of topless guys
OK, I'm much calmer now, blood isn't as boiled after moaning about people with inflated egos or the inability of my superiors to do their jobs. Just need to keep a smile on my face and enjoy the free time. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a Kardashian, since I'm earning money from doing absolutely nothing. Might start tweeting at them for advice on how to be completely useless but be 'pioneers' of the modern age.

Ben G 😁 xo

P.S. Alexis Sanchez... never heard of him mate. Emirates was rocking on Wednesday (even though we left early because SOMEONE has a job) but well worth it.

Only had the four layers on


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