Skip to main content

Did I hear someone say cricket?

I find myself stuck at home for the foreseeable future due to unfortunate circumstances. It's a long story, and once the whole mess is sorted out then I can reveal all. For now though, Ben is tired, scared and more or less sane. Oh, and the Ashes is upon us.

Sweet Jesus
I remember my First Challenge expedition to Malawi in the summer of 2009. There was a bar at one of our camp sites, and the men of the group decided to spend the day inside watching the cricket. Some say the day was wasted; I say there was no better way to spend a day. Even on the other side of the world, we found time to watch some cricket.

I did go outside at points
Sport is awash with rivalries. The list is long and all have their own reasons. Location, religion, a war or conflict thrown in there for good measure. When Farnham do battle with Camberley, there is no holding back, and a victory over those Camberley bastards always feels nice. It's been a while, but revenge will be ours soon. For now, there is one triumph that I am very happy with for the time being...
I didn't see it coming, not gonna lie
The rivalry between England and Australia is fierce, and for all the right reasons. It's the mother country versus one of the former white dominions. Australians desire to get one over the former world superpower is one that becomes an obsession, and English desire to hold on to any sort of prestige makes victory over those rowdy Aussies even sweeter.

Our two nations have done battle for many years now, and over all sorts of professions. Jonny Wilkinson (Farnham RUFC legend) sent the nation into a frenzy with that drop goal in 2003. Track cycling is always an intriguing affair when the two nations don their extra tight cycling suits and charge around in circles. Hell, even Nick Faldo and Greg Norman's golfing duel in the 1990s is worth mentioning as well.

Scenes
Yet it is cricket that unleashes the worst out of any player from either nation. For the sake of all you historians out there, here's a quick lesson. In 1882, the Aussies came over and beat us in a test match. The Sporting Times published an obituary, written by Reginald Stanley Brooks, to commemorate the occasion. English cricket had died and 'the body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia'.

In true fashion, England captain Ivo Bligh declared that he would 'regain the ashes' in their next tour to Austrlia. The term would become more widely used when England toured Australia in 1903, and has stuck ever since. Yet it was after the 1883  test series that an urn was presented to Bligh to symbolise the cremated remains of English cricket. The Ashes had begun.

The ultimate prize
The Darnley Urn (named as such due to Bligh being the Lord of Darnley) somehow unleashes the basic animalistic instincts of humanity, and bring about some outstanding sledges. I don't mean those sturdy vessels you glide down on a snowy mountain, but jibes at another player to get under their skin. Here are some of my favourites:

Mark Waugh (Australia): 'Look who it is. Mate, what are you doing here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England'
James Ormond (England) 'Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family'

Glenn McGrath (Australia): 'Athers, it would help if you got rid of the shit at the end of your bat'
Michael Atherton (England) looks at the bottom of his bat
McGrath: 'No, the other end'

Rodney Marsh (Australia): 'So how's your wife and my kids?'
Ian Botham (England): 'The wife's fine- the kids are retarded'

Nasser Hussain (England) at the crease. Steve Waugh tells Ricky Ponting (both Australia) to 'field at silly point. I want you right under his nose'.
Ian Healy (Australia): That could be anywhere inside a three-mile radius'

An icon of the sport
Simply incredible. With the eyes of the cricketing world upon you, and national expectations weighing you down, it takes a brilliant mind to think of something so witty in such a tense atmosphere. There's no room for cock ups, or else you will be eaten alive out there.

As this latest series unfolds, I am on the edge of my seat. Test cricket can be a drag at times, but when these two sides meet you can't turn your eyes away. The pride of nations is at stake, and only the bravest and strongest shall emerge victorious. Tears will be shed, blood will be spilled, runs will be scored! The Ashes is here, and it's gonna be sweet.

Ben G 😁 xo

P.S. I'm very grateful the Ashes has begun. I need to take my mind off my current predicament. All I have to do is to just wait for the whole thing to blow over.

Good stuff
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Fateful Accusation

'Justice delayed is justice denied'- William E. Gladstone I am not a religious man, yet I am certainly not a militant atheist like Richard 'If you like God, you're stupid' Dawkins. Belief/faith in some sort of deity is comforting for some, and there are a large number of people who believe in the concept of 'divine intervention'. This can be defined as a deity, whether through the power of prayer or perhaps it being a slow day in the afterlife, takes the conscious decision to intervene in our mortal realm and influence a certain chain of events. Miracles are often categorised as the result of divine intervention, and on an overcast 29 March, on the steps outside of St Paul's Cathedral in London, a deity may have given me a helping hand. It certainly isn't on the scale of Jesus walking on water or God sending the Ten Plagues onto Egypt, but in that very moment of time it felt as if 'divine intervention' had just occurred. My mother felt ch...
2 comments
Read more

The 100th Post: The End of 'Absolute Shambles'

'So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye'- 'So Long, Farewell' from The Sound of Music , 1965 Post Number 100. The bunting has been hoisted out of the cupboard and is now strung up in all its glory. Caterers are hurriedly preparing a lavish spread for the exclusive event that surrounds such a historic moment, which will be attended by the biggest celebrities on the planet. People such as Barack Obama, Sir Patrick Stewart and LeBron James are waiting for the gold envelope to slide through the letterbox and invite them to the prestigious gathering. Celine Dion is warming up her vocal cords to sing a duet with Ed Sheeran, who will perform a special song written by Pharrell Williams. Dwayne Johnson and Channing Tatum will be running security for the night, hoping to keep out any party crashers who want to catch a glimpse of this humble blogger and his famous entourage. Seriously, this makes the Oscars look like a primary school disco. Master of Ceremonies Sadly, ...
Post a Comment
Read more

'Wolfenstein: The New Colossus'- one of the craziest games I've ever played

As I continue my temporary imprisonment in my home, it was time to do some tactical purchases. Thankfully, Christmas is fast approaching so we are now entering a period of big title releases as companies rub their hands in delight over the thought of some big profits. Not going to deny it, it's a wonderful time to be alive. Bethesda  decided it was time to jump back on the Wolfenstein  train and release another installment of their long running series with The New Colossus . Screams of delight pierced the air as I saw the announcement, release trailer and finally game play footage. Look, I'm a very lonely guy; there's not much else to be excited about really. A personal hero If you're unfamiliar with the series, here's a quick run down. It's the 1960s and the Nazis won the Second World War. Things suck, so William 'B.J.' Blazkowicz (emerging from a 14 year coma) continues his Nazi killing ways and does it in a brutal and efficient way. The New Co...
Post a Comment
Read more