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Podcasts help me sound smarter than I really am

It's May 2017, and a new day has begun. Basingstoke Golf Club finds itself covered in glorious sunshine, yet it is unnaturally cold. From the sheds emerges a young man, still processing why he got out of bed this morning. He sits upon a John Deere greens mower and ventures into the beyond, his ears filled with the sounds of an orchestra. A stranger introduces himself as Ray Harris Jr., and welcomes him to 'The History of World War II Podcast'.

Where it all began
That young man was me, and this was my first interaction with the strange world of podcasts. It is fair to say that I was hooked from that moment onward. People fill their lives with drugs and casual sex in order to find happiness; I fill mine with informative and intellectually stimulating episodes on a wide variety of historical topics.

'The History of World War II' was essentially my gateway drug/podcast. I soon fell upon the BBC's 'History Extra Podcast', followed by 'When Diplomacy Fails' and 'The British History Podcast'. Recently I discovered that one of my old lecturers James Daybell runs a podcast with History heartthrob Sam Willis, whereby they talked about how everyday objects have the strangest of origins and meanings. Nerdy as shit, but damn is it good.

I have far too many man crushes
Any chance is taken to listen to another episode. Work out on the golf course was the perfect opportunity, as I would complete my tasks whilst being accompanied by the unfolding saga that was the Second World War. Long walks flew by as I listened intently to the struggles of the Anglo-Saxons against the Vikings. Even my sweaty hours in the gym were motivated by the exploits of Gustavus Adolphus during the Thirty Years War. They had taken control of me.

A worthy challenger to Zlatan Ibrahimovic's title as 'Greatest of all the Swedes'
It is these podcasts that, in a way, brought me back to the idea of teaching. Hearing these complete strangers put so much time and effort into weekly broadcasts made me realise how much I missed researching topics and expressing my knowledge to anyone within earshot. Highly annoying, yes, but my passion could not be tamed.

Seriously, I've learned a lot from these podcasts. For example:
  • Mein Kampf (Adolf Hitler's autobiography on why everyone sucks but him) is a best seller in India due to Hitler's rise to power being seen as a rags to riches story
  • Nottingham used to be known as Snotengaham, meaning 'the homestead of Snot's people' (Snot was a Saxon chieftain by the way)
  • French artist Marcel Duchamp made a parody of the Mona Lisa by drawing a moustache and goatee upon the original. Underneath the painting is L.H.O.O.Q., which pronounced quickly in French sounds like 'Elle a chaud au cul'. That, translated loosely, means 'she has a hot arse'.
Well I certainly think it's better than the original
These podcasts have managed to keep up my interests in the realms of History, and certainly beats listening to the same songs over and over again. I guess that's my advice here really; download some podcasts and get a bit of knowledge in your lives. You might have to concentrate to remember who the important people are, but that's learning for you I'm afraid.

Who knows, maybe I will start up my own podcast. Yes, I know that my voice reminds people of a horrible mixture of nails on a chalkboard and Bob Dylan singing, but I'm sure you guys can bear it. We all lived our lives while Chris Moyles somehow kept his job on Radio 1 for God knows how many years, and he was... well... rubbish.

Sorry dude, the truth is harsh
I assume that I must bring this post to a close, as there is much to do. By that, I mean the second series of Stranger Things is now on Netflix and I have a craving for some Eggos. Looks like I already have next weeks post sorted out... COMMENCE THE BINGING!

Hold on Eleven, I'm on my way 
Ben G 😁 xo

P.S. Eddie Nketiah is a beast. It was an honour to see the greatest footballer in the whole of human history grace the Emirates with his presence and slay the mighty foe that was Norwich City.

Scenes


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