After some time off in Cornwall, a bank holiday and a family matter, Thursday rolls around and I find myself, technically, waking up to my first day of unemployment. An early morning gym session was complete and now began the major tasks for the day- getting a job and funding my extravagant life.
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| The quest for employment has begun |
By the end of the day, I had sent off three applications and had been offered a trial shift working behind the bar at my local pub. A blinding start really! Oh, and I had signed up for an interview on Friday afternoon with Hollister.
That's right, Hollister. That clothing chain famous for its dimly lit stores and beautiful members of staff. To be fair, when I walked into Hollister and enquired about work I was expecting to be laughed out the door. These people would riot if they had to work with a 'normal' person. But no, I was greeted with a smile and given a card about interview times and where to sign up.
Now I'm going to be honest here. I spent the rest of my time in Guildford not only buying ingredients for my paella, but strutting around with a hell of a lot of confidence. In my mind, I had been accepted by Hollister- I was deemed to be worthy of their time. God I'm vain.
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| Why yes Carly, I do believe that song is about me |
Friday comes about (understandable really, it comes right after Thursday) and once more I board the train to Guildford, but this time armed with a Latte with soy milk. A conscious health choice, but I assumed that this was a standard beverage of the humble Hollister employee. I had to think like a Hollisterian to become one.
It's fair to say that I was assuming the general type of person who worked in Hollister. In the modern and diverse working environment of 2017 Britain, that is an awful thing to do and I feel slightly ashamed. On the plus side, the coffee was delicious.
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| Take my word, there is soy in there |
I had done job interviews before, but never for a big retailer like Hollister. My customer facing experience was based around awkward small talk with golfers and helping to run the Dog Show at the local village fete. But hey, any experience will do really.
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| On the third Saturday of every July, we wear pink |
My interview was at 4, so I spent time meandering around Guildford and thinking about what kind of questions I would be asked. Hollister conduct their interviews in a group format, so I would have to stand out from the crowd. But I had my secret weapons latched firmly on my feet, and would be a magnet upon the eyes of the general public.
If you have me on Snapchat, you are probably all too aware of the exquisite bright orange vans I purchased from TK Maxx a few weeks ago. I am keen to show off these beautiful pair of shoes whenever possible, and today was the perfect day. The interviewers would be blinded by these garish yet gorgeous accessories.
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| Sweet Jesus |
When it came to the interview, the questions seemed like pretty standard retail questions. 'Why did you wear the clothes you have on today?' and 'How would you help a customer find the perfect pair of jeans?' were just two of the questions fired my way. The other two prospective candidates answered them well, and seemed to impress the two managers in training conducting the interview. Charles Darwin had certainly hit the nail on the head, for this was survival of the fittest.
The interview ended with a general run down of the role of a Hollister employee; being trendy, friendly and hard working. Nothing too out of the ordinary but with all the brands fighting to become ultimate master of fashion then companies want good staff. They want confident and smiley people to rep their brand and make some money. The potential discounts go a long way as well. I shall look fabulous.
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| You and me both, Channing |
Now comes the two week wait of whether or not Hollister value me as someone beautiful and resourceful enough to work under the Hollister seagull. If I do get the job, then I'm afraid my vanity will reach astronomical levels (fair warning now). But if not, then my dream of becoming the next supermodel taking the fashion world by storm will have reached a premature end.
Ben G xo 😁
P.S. On the day I unleash this post upon the Internet, I will be doing my trial shift behind a bar. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers
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