Skip to main content

Ben Goscomb, Lord of Grass and Protector of Bunkers

I'm back! Hello, did you miss me? I hope you did, that would be lovely. After a weekend of Weyfest and a quick jaunt down to Cornwall (with a stop in Plymouth of course), I have returned to the blogging world. Hide your excitement, you will wake up the neighbours.

So last Friday I quit my job as a Greenkeeper at Basingstoke Golf Club. Unemployment is my newly found friend and we are getting on like a house on fire. Something will come up, don't despair for me! Besides, it gives me time to think about what the world of greenkeeping has taught me.

Just some young adults striving for greatness
Over the last three years, I have progressed from the casual summer boy all the way through to the role of a glorified apprentice before finding myself as a full time member of staff. It's been one hell of a journey and boy am I tired. Who knew that waking up at the crack of dawn could be such a burden.

It has its perks I guess
In typical private school fashion, I managed to secure a job at Hankley Common Golf Club due to my Dad's working relationship with Gareth Roberts, who was Head Greenkeeper at the time. Gareth took a chance on me and for a whole month in the summer of 2014 I was a working man. There was money in my pocket, twinned with an appreciation for the work that these guys did.

Maintenance week, enemy to all greenkeepers
Another year at uni passed and with it came another summer of potential unemployment. Yet whether it was desperation for staff or a charitable act for a poor young student, I found myself back amongst the heather for another summer of adult responsibility. Working on the course took my mind away from the terrifying spectre of my final year in Plymouth, and the dreaded dissertation waiting to seize my free time and sanity.

It's just sitting there... watching me...
Summer 2016, back at Hankley, you all knew it was coming. But this was different to the other years. Not to go into too much detail but there was a change in leadership, lots of bad feelings and a History graduate caught in the middle of it all. Indeed, that graduate's failure to secure a place on a teacher training course threw his future into doubt. So he took a chance and ran away to the far off land of Basingstoke, as a career in greenkeeping seemed like the only thing to do.

New team, new start, new uniform
This change brought about a hell of a lot of new responsibilities. Tractors, front loaders, a variety of mowers; I had been thrown into the deep end. But the time had come for me to be a man and overcome my fears of breaking machines, crashing into buildings and even running down a few golfers.

In true manly fashion, after around five months at Basingstoke, I made the decision to run away... again. Yeh, I really suck at being committed to work (please ignore this flip flopping potential employers, I swear I can be a good employee). Look at this tee, it's so well cut.

Cutting bullets
So after a small existential crisis I came to the decision around a month ago to give teaching another try. The pieces of the puzzle are slowly falling into place and I must now mentally prepare myself for what is about to come. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Ok, end of story and now to the point of this whole blog; what did I learn? First of all, greenkeepers do more than cut grass... a whole lot more. It's a role that encompasses so many skills, such as maintenance, customer service and general knowledge of nature (that's the best term I could think of really). There was so much to learn and be aware of, as any wrong move could ruin the course and lead to some very angry members. Come to think of it, lady members are always angry so there would be no difference there.

My teamwork skills continued to improve, and my intuition with it as well. I could be entrusted to work on my own and make the right decisions, even though one or two voices would call into question my choices (not mentioning any names of course). The job would not be done until I felt like I had done my best. There was no time for half measures, not with so many judgemental eyes lurking about.

That's a good looking bunker IMHO
I won't list off all the attributes since then I would start to sound like a CV, but you guys get the point. I became more responsible, I got a taste of the adult life and developed a work ethic that I never plan on losing. Any job/challenge will be approached with all my attention and energy, whatever that job ends up being.

All in all, I loved it, and I feel pretty grateful for having the chance to work with so many talented people. Greenkeeper wages need to be higher really; to work in what could be described as a thankless job deserves a lot more recognition. Yes, there's always a smile, a generous email or some praise here and there, but they don't pay the bills.

It takes a lot to look this good
The adult world is a scary place, but we all need to get there eventually. You're more than welcome to stay in higher education, but a time will come when you run out of Masters degrees to complete and your parents tire of your presence in their house. Be ready kids, because it's a shock to the system.

Ben G xo 😁

P.S. Plymouth was as gorgeous as ever.


P.P.S. I won 17p last night from the Mayweather/McGregor fight last night, everyone be proud of me.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The 100th Post: The End of 'Absolute Shambles'

'So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye'- 'So Long, Farewell' from The Sound of Music , 1965 Post Number 100. The bunting has been hoisted out of the cupboard and is now strung up in all its glory. Caterers are hurriedly preparing a lavish spread for the exclusive event that surrounds such a historic moment, which will be attended by the biggest celebrities on the planet. People such as Barack Obama, Sir Patrick Stewart and LeBron James are waiting for the gold envelope to slide through the letterbox and invite them to the prestigious gathering. Celine Dion is warming up her vocal cords to sing a duet with Ed Sheeran, who will perform a special song written by Pharrell Williams. Dwayne Johnson and Channing Tatum will be running security for the night, hoping to keep out any party crashers who want to catch a glimpse of this humble blogger and his famous entourage. Seriously, this makes the Oscars look like a primary school disco. Master of Ceremonies Sadly,

Another 'Week in History': 3 June- 9 June

'Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle-hardened. He will fight savagely... I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full victory! Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking'- Dwight D. Eisenhower, in an address to the Allied Expeditionary Force, 2 June 1944 Absolute Shambles  has reached its penultimate post. Much like the premiership of Theresa May , the end to this turbulent and embarrassing time in history is coming to an end. The very small but loyal following (please make yourself known) are probably sobbing uncontrollably and are disturbing anyone who comes across them as they spill their tears on the floor while huddled in a ball. For everyone else, the closing of the blog is likely met with reactions such as 'Who the hell cares?', 'Ben had a blog?' and 'Finally, more focus

Hands up if you want to be Prime Minister

'You mustn't expect prime ministers to enjoy themselves. If they do, they mustn't show it- the population would be horrified'- Edward Heath (Prime Minister 1970-1974), 1976 Humans are awfully violent creatures. A quick scan through the epic saga that is our species' history reveals how brutal some people can be. Warfare, betrayals, general instances of being a complete bastard; yep, human history has it all! Even though we have become more 'civilised' as we straightened ourselves out, mastered the whole walking on two legs business and constructed society, that predatory instinct has stayed with us to this day. We don't have to hunt for our food thanks to supermarkets, but we keep our targets in our sights. Whenever weakness is detected, out springs that side of humanity that got us through some rocky times with all those dinosaurs and other big beasties stomping about. In this world of smart phones, Fortnite and all that, humans are still very much c