Absolute Shambles

'We urge the authorities to tell the fucking truth, first and foremost. We urge them to do something. We urge the fucking government to be held accountable for the fuckery, and we ain't gonna stop until we get what we deserve.'- Michael 'Stormzy' Omari, responding to the Grenfell Tower fire on stage at Glastonbury, 24 June 2017 Celebrities are known to put their earnings towards funding youths in their adventures into the terrifying realms of tertiary education. Alec Baldwin, for example, provides a scholarship to prospective students at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University who have an excellent academic record, yet require significant financial attend to attend college. Earlier this month, basketball star LeBron James of the Los Angeles Lakers opened the 'I Promise' School in his hometown of Akron, Ohio. Under-privileged kids will receive numerous perks including free uniforms, free food and guaranteed tuition for all graduates to the Unive

Dear 18-year-old Ben, Hi, it's Ben... from the future. You may be wondering to yourself how you came across this letter. Is it time travel? Is it a practical joke from any one of the numerous people who get a boner out of making fun of you? I guess it's a bit of both, since technically this is from the future, and you are the person who takes the piss out of you the most. Before we get bogged down in whether I am breaking the space-time continuum, we should get to the point at hand. This is a letter from your future self at the tender age of 23, writing to you for one simple reason; to get you excited for the future. Now, the future is scary, let's not beat around the bush here. You're thinking to yourself, 'I don't know what I should do with my life. Am I destined for incredible failure?' There is no need to fret, because you're growing up and there are millions of people out there going through the exact same thing. Take pride in being unique, but

NOTE: THIS WAS ALL FINALISED ON WEDNESDAY EVENING/THURSDAY MORNING, SO ANY SUDDEN DEADLINE DAY TRANSFERS WON'T HAVE BEEN ADDED IN. 'The Premier League is one of the most difficult in the world. There's five, six, or seven clubs that can be the champions. Only one can win, and all the others are disappointed and live in the middle of disaster.'- Jürgen Klopp Well, well, well, look who has decided to come crawling back into our lives. You entertained us all with some exquisite World Cup action  that led to a very prestigious award ceremony , but now you're back to create more fun and excitement?! Football, you are relentless. Bringing forward Transfer Deadline Day wasn't enough for you- always wanting more, forever hungry. Oh, who am I kidding. It's good to have you back in our lives, football. Bring on the new league season and let's get ready to embrace the madness. Money talks Friday 10th August will be the curtain raiser for the 2018/19 Premi

'There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write'- Terry Pratchett We've all stubbed our toe before, right? That intense pain streaking through your body, the agony of impact and the sense of betrayal that a part of our body so small could cause so much strife. It feels as if the end has finally come, as Saint Peter stands before the pearly gates and looks on with sympathy as he reads that the latest arrival in heaven died of a vicious toe stubbing. Toe stubbing is quite awful, as are the majority of bodily injuries, but for a writer the worst pain to feel is the dreaded curse of 'writer's block'. It is the affliction of hitting a creative wall, and bashing your head against this mental wall has no effect on breaking it down. It hurts- a lot. With 'Absolute Shambles' slowly meandering through its second year of existence, there have been plenty of times when I've thought to myself