Absolute Shambles

It's shopping day. You step into the supermarket with a list full of healthy items that are sure to keep your heart beating by the time you turn 30. But as you enter, your eyes are drawn towards the confectionery, placed strategically by the door in order for you to grab a quick reward for being an adult and doing the shopping. They look so good... it's as if they are calling to you. Their siren-like calls are enticing you towards them. It is too hard to resist; the diet is about to be slain. Your hands reach towards a Crunchie (the superior chocolate bar) but then you come to your senses. 'NO!' you scream, drawing back your hand as if it had touched a hot stove. Fellow shoppers recoil in fear at your outburst, but you care not. You got up at 5am to do that HIIT session for a reason, and that was because you are now a healthy human being. You take a breath, compose yourself and grab the avocados, almonds and lean white meats. People clap and cheer as you make your way...

I like Assassin's Creed . Shouldn't be a great surprise if you've been keeping up with these blogs or actually have the pleasure/displeasure of knowing me in the real world. In my eyes, it's the perfect game for me, as it blends exciting open world locations with historical story elements and a plot of secret societies, apocalyptic scenarios and plenty of violence that makes a session in Parliament look like a picnic. In the latest installment, Assassin's Creed Origins , my needs were very much met. Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy After jaunts in places such as Renaissance Italy, the Caribbean and Victorian London, we now find ourselves in Ptolemaic Egypt, focusing on the adventures of Bayek of Siwa. He is a Medjay, a fancy word for a badass bodyguard to the Pharaoh, and he is on a mission of vengeance. Having witnessed the death of son at the hands of a mysterious organisation known as the Order of the Ancients, Bayek sets out across the kingdom to bring down the...

Besides the increasing number of candles on my birthday cake, I know that I am growing older as I publicly express my distaste for the youth of today. I roll my eyes when they play their 'sick beats' and how they've been on an all kale diet since they were able to walk. Actually, I quite like kale- but my point still stands; the young members of our society are annoying as fuck. What makes me mad nowadays is who kids see as role models. Football players are still a firm favourite, as are musicians and other successful entertainers, but it's their high roller lifestyle that entices the youth of today. The Internet has now opened up a new category of potential role models called 'Internet personalities', especially those on YouTube, as they publish videos highlighting their lives. Today, it's all about Logan Paul and the videos that have been published in the last few weeks. He has a punchable face So this Logan Paul guy has recently been to Japan, and...

I'm not really a fan of New Year's Eve. The older I have become, the more reclusive I have become on the night that ushers in a new year. But, despite my lack of enthusiasm for this apparent holiday, hopefully everyone had a good night and are ready to embrace 2018. Beware though; now comes the scary times of 'new year, new me', so watch out for all the resolutions that will be broken in a week or so. Over the top, but the London firworks are pretty cool This new year will, of course, bring with it new challenges. Besides the urge to break our resolutions early on and go back to the easy life, we have to remember that it's now 2018, not 2017. That means that all those students out there writing down the date have to get 2017 out of their system ASAP, otherwise the top of every single page for the next few months will be branded with an 8 that suspiciously started like a 7. Just a friendly reminder from me. For me, the first challenge of 2018 is to continue t...