Great Britain and their quest for Winter Olympic investment

Right, enough of this serious issue stuff. Criticising American gun control is riveting and all, but I would rather research and natter on about something that doesn't involve reading through both the British and American Bill of Rights, or trawling through statistics on mass shootings that occur on US soil. So let's go on about sports, specifically the Winter Olympics. Finally, we have reached the promised land of curling. Rejoice, dear people!

Due to the ongoing psychological warfare being raged between my good self and the powers of Surrey Police, I have a lot of free time on my hands, and I'm certainly grateful that the world of sport has provided some comfort away from the steep decline of both my professional career and my sanity. The Ashes were great (apart from England being thrashed) and the chance to grind through 'Wolfenstein: The New Colossus' and 'Assassin's Creed: Origins' has been a joy. Yet once again the nation watched in awe as athletes in tight attire threw themselves down an icy track on a tea tray, or were enthralled by the Snowboard Cross, the illegitimate but lovable offspring of the art of snowboarding and Mad Max. Yet we all know that the magnificent craft of curling was the real winner. Seriously, I'm not being sarcastic; I fucking love it.

Behold, the mightiest of athletes

By the end of PyeongChang 2018, Norway topped the medal table (14 golds, 14 silvers and 11 bronzes), the United States returned home disappointed with their efforts in South Korea (9 golds, 8 silvers and 6 bronzes) and the plucky Brits finished in 19th (1 gold and 4 bronzes). Seems like we didn't do so well, but the initial target was to win 10 medals (so we failed in that regard), but this was our best medal haul ever. Hell, here's a list of countries that we finished above:

• Poland (1 gold and 1 bronze)
• Hungary (1 gold)
• Ukraine (1 gold)

These nations tend to be a little chillier than our island home (doesn't feel like it at the moment with all of these snow flurries and bitter winds), so let's take pride in that! I know that only winning 5 medals doesn't seem like much, but within our haul is a gold won by Lizzy Yarnold, who defended the Olympic title in skeleton that she had won in Sochi four years ago. A few unexpected bronze medals from Laura Deas in the skeleton event, Dominic Parsons (again in skeleton), Izzy Atkin in the skiing slopestyle event and Billy Morgan in big air (snowboarding, basically) made it a solid Olympics. Commiserations, of course, to the brave curlers who fell short of a medal and Elise Christie, the world champion short track speed skater in both the 1000m and 1500m, who left South Korea with no medal and injured. Heartbreaking.

She's still a damn good skater though

Even with an admirable display, there have been calls to stop investing in British athletes at the Winter Olympics- especially from one Michael Edwards, better known as 'Eddie the Eagle'. At the Calgary Olympics in 1988 (the same Olympics that saw the debut of the Jamaican bobsleigh team), Eddie (ranked 55 in the world) took to the hill as Britain's best chance of winning in a medal in the ski jumping competition. He finished last in both the 70m and 90m events, yet he was the darling of Calgary, as the far sighted, self-funded Finnish mental hospital resident (it was the cheapest accommodation he could afford) soared into the hearts of all who watched. Some, of course, were embarrassed by his participation, leading to the International Olympic Committee (IOC) creating the 'Eddie the Eagle Rule', meaning that athletes had to be in the top 30% of the top 50 competitors across multiple international events. What a bunch of killjoys.

Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest ski jumper in British history

In an interview with Jeremy Vine on BBC Radio 2, Edwards complained of the amount of money spent on GB hopes at the Winter Olympics, saying that Britain wasn't 'a Winters nation... we shouldn't be spending tens of millions of pounds on trying to keep up with [the Austrians, Swiss and Germans], who have got the snow and the facilities'. £28.4 million was spent on the British athletes competing in PyeongChang, with the skeleton team receiving around £6.5 million in funding (which mostly went into those tight but aerodynamic suits). So, on average, £5.68 million was spent on every medal that Team GB won in South Korea. Mixed in with the fact that we fell short by 5 medals of the 10 medal target established before the Olympics, perhaps Eddie the Eagle is speaking the truth...

I admit, it's not a fun sight seeing our athletes tumble to last place, as the skilled Norwegians glide themselves to yet more Olympic honours. Eddie the Eagles is right in saying in that we aren't a Winters nation, not only confirmed by our temperate climate, but also by UK Sport giving the Summer Olympians around £347 million to spend. The fact that, at Rio 2016, a target of 47 medals was set, which was surpassed with a haul of 67 medals, it shows how much better we are in summer rather than winter.

Man crushing hard on Adam Peaty

We certainly do not have the facilities to create an incredible winter sports programme, with athletes heading abroad in order to become acclimatised to hostile conditions and competing in national championships in order to assess opponents and get some extra practice in. It is easy enough to head out to the Alpine Snowsports Centre in Aldershot and glide down the dry ski slopes, yet it is nothing compared to the approximate 30,000 km of marked ski trails that cross Norway. Those Norwegians really are born with skis on their feet, and that has certainly translated into dominating the Winter Olympics.

But there is no reason to give up, no sir! We Brits love a challenge, and our love of the underdog (as I have mentioned before) draws us into the world of bobsleigh and figure skating. What I find ironic about the comments made by Eddie the Eagle is that he is a prime reason that we love the Winter Olympics in the first place. Who else but Great Britain would put their national hopes on the shoulders of a guy whose glasses fogged up everytime he practiced ski jumping? Besides, we have had some great memories at the Winter Olympics; Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean twisted and turned to glory at the 1984 Sarajevo Olympics, and the British women's curling team swept the Swiss aside in Salt Lake City in 2002, winning the country's first gold medal since Torvill and Dean. Compared to other nations, two gold medals seem like nothing, but to us it means the world.

Majestic

Perhaps the spectacle of London 2012 gave everyone an unrealistic expectation that Britain is a global powerhouse when it comes to sport. 'Super Saturday', which saw Team GB win six gold medals on a single day, including a 45 minute spell which saw Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah and Greg Rutherford win three of them. It was inspiring, and to do it on home soil really made it that much more special. But yes, that was done in events that have far more funding; events which can be transferred to a warmed location inside during the chilly seasons of autumn and winter. Winter athletes do have the luxury of indoor facilities as well, but they are far more sparse compared to what is at the summer athletes' disposal.

You can moan about investment, but there are some winter sports who have little funding, and have relied on self-funding to reach the Olympics. Luge competitor Adam Rosen, who finished 22nd in PyeongChang, had no funding due to failing to qualify for the 2014 Sochi Olympics, and the luge programme is unlikely to receive any extra funding due to the recent performance in South Korea. Bobsleighers Mica Moore and Mica McNeill lost their funding in September 2017 due to the British Bobsleigh and Skeleton Association (BBSA) having funding troubles and the BBSA 'focusing resources on winning medals at the 2018 Winter Olympics'. Although the pair won the junior Bobsleigh World Championships in 2017, they had no money for their Olympic endeavours. A few days after their funding was withdrawn, £30,000 was raised to send the girls to the World Cup in November 2017, with enough left over to get them to the Olympics. They finished 8th, four places higher than male pairing Brad Hall and Joel Fearon. Now that's pretty inspiring.

Worthy competitors

Britain may not be 'a Winters nation', and the same can be said of the likes of Jamaica, Nigeria and Ghana. Their climates are certainly much warmer than our own, yet sports like bobsleigh and skeleton require excellent sprinters in order to build momentum for a fast start, making it more appealing to these nations compared to something like cross-country skiing. Below are the results of the three nations in the Olympics just gone:

• Jamaica: 19th in two-woman bobsleigh (funded by Red Stripe after their coach left and ran off with the sled), 29th in men's skeleton
• Nigeria: 20th in two-woman bobsleigh, 20th in women's skeleton
• Ghana: 30th in men's skeleton

These are just three examples of nations who braved the cold and showed no remorse in taking on the best in the world at sports that some have been practicing for their entire lives. East Timor had an alpine skier, Brazil had a female figure skater and Pita Taufatofua (who has represented Tonga in taekwondo) was his country's only competitot, as he competed as a cross-country skier. This guy walked into the PyeongChang Olympic Stadium wearing only a ta'ovala in temperatures below freezing, just as he did at the Rio Olympics in 2016. While Eddie the Eagle branded athletes as 'snowflakes' due to complaining about the low temperatures, Pita gave no fucks. When you are carrying your nations flag, no brisk wind can stop you.

Hero

It would be very imperialist of me to say that Britain has a duty to compete due to smaller nations sending athletes to the Winter Olympics. We compete because we have athletes who want to be there; if we didn't, then some would not have raised their own funds and just accepted their investment being cut in order to focus on events that would see Britain triumph. As I mentioned before, our performances in the Summer Olympics over the last few decades have been amazing, and that has given people the idea that we can do anything. The British spirit is certainly alive and well in that regard, but medals should not measure success. The fact that we have people willing to compete against the mighty Norwegians or Canadians is inspiring in its own right, not to mention how some of our athletes are self-funded. Medals can easily measure how successful an Olympics has been, but to have willing participants in the first place (some of which have won/placed highly in other international events) means more than medal targets.

Always nice to win, no doubt about that

Perhaps the funding for winter sports would be better invested in summer sports, or just promoting grassroot development in general. Maybe it can go into the NHS since that £350 million a week spent on the EU seems to have been lost... but I digress. Once more, I reiterate the point that the Winter Olympians have every right to compete. Yes, we are rubbish compared to Norway, but to grab the attention of millions of spectators back home in the United Kingdom and make many wish that they could throw themselves down a hill on a tea tray is the real victory. 

Ben G 😁 xo

P.S. Hope you all enjoyed the snow- I certainly did. Behold my smart office attire as everyone was working from home. Lazy bastards.

Casual office attire with the bright pink tie and purple Umbro trackies